Sunday, December 03, 2006

sleepy shanny

this is how i feel. i think i'll take a nap.

my 1st "A" paper

This is one of two paper that I received back on the same day. This one is a persuasive paper about what the legal status of same-sex marriage SHOULD be. The other paper was about shopping malls as gendered spaces of consumption. That one was 10 pages, so I will spare you that. though, i must say it is a good one. Usually I am out the gate with a good stride and lose some momentum by the end. In this paper I really think I finish as well as I start. Anyway: without further ado:

Same-Sex Marriage:
This Generations Miscegenation?

Marriage has been litigated in the courts as long as America has been independently ruled. Through the tides of legal action the idea of marriage has evolved, leaving behind the notions of its inception to become what it is known to be today. Prior to 1967, it was considered against God’s law for “white” persons to commingle with people of other racial identities. By means of time and litigation this sentiment has changed. At present there is a new union under attack—-same-sex marriage. The current arguments coming out in opposition to gay marriage are quite similar to the past outcry against miscegenation. However, there are some differences cropping up in the courts interpretation. Thus far it is these nuanced differences that are leading to entirely different legal outcomes.
Up until 1967 Virginia, as well as other states, had on the books anti-miscegenation laws that regulated who could marry whom. The central focus of this variety of law was to completely ban the union of a “white person” with a “non-white” person. It is important to note here that the other races were not prohibited from marrying each other, but rather as “non-whites” they were forbidden from commingling with “whites.” It was the opinion of Judge Leon Bazile that such mixings directly contradicted God’s intent. If the races were meant to cohabitate, they would not have been relegated to separate places on the globe. The fact that people have moved about the continents in no way supposes that God intended the races to amalgamate [Loving v Virginia 388 U.S. 1 (1967)].
As illustrated by Virginia interracial marriage had been historically disallowed. However, in 1948, the court system witnessed a slight shift in opinion. The case of Perez v. Sharp 32 Cal. 2d 711 (1948) was decided on the state level. In its ruling, marriage was termed as the “fundamental right of free men.” Ultimately, this case had no bearing on the legal proceedings of the nation. However, this case made California the first state to recognize anti-miscegenation as a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. This established precedence and was not too far ahead of the ground breaking decision in the case Loving v Virginia 388 U.S. 1 (1967). The ruling of this case reiterated that marriage is a fundamental right. It also, asserted that even though Virginia’s anti-miscegenation laws treated “whites” and “non-whites” equally, the action was still classified as race-based discrimination. This classification elevated the status of anti-miscegenation laws to strict scrutiny by the Supreme Court. This shifted the burden to the state of Virginia to prove that it had a compelling purpose for its anti-miscegenation laws and that the means were narrowly tailored to achieve said purpose. The state was unable to prove so under the strict scrutiny test of the court. The decision of the court could have theoretically been in favor of miscegenation if not for the recognition of race-based discrimination, an entirely technical matter.
Currently, proponents of same-sex marriage are trying to parallel the arguments made in Loving v Virginia. Their argument is that regardless of the fact that both sexes are equally burdened, the prohibition of same-sex marriage is sex-based discrimination. The successful execution of this argument would immensely help the gay and lesbian cause. This particular accomplishment would elevate its status of same-sex legislation, such as Washington State’s DOMA, to a semi-suspect classification. In this event, the burden would fall upon the state to show an important state purpose in prohibiting gay marriage and that the stated prohibition is closely related to achieving this important state purpose. In the event that that happened, it can be assumed that proponents of same-sex marriage would be more effective in achieving their goal of having their long-term bonds and commitments legally recognized.
However, the courts have been able to glean a differentiation between the arguments of Loving and those of same-sex marriage. The difference lies in the age-old “accident of birth” argument. In Andersen v. King County it was held that discrimination was not based on sex since it applied equally to both sexes. This is in opposition to the decision in Loving that, regardless of whether “whites” and “non-whites” are treated the same, anti-miscegenation laws are based on race. Though reversed by the Ninth Circuit court of appeals, the state used the decision of High Tech Gays v. Defense Industrial Security Clearance Office 909 F. 2d 375 (1990) to substantiate that homosexuality is behavioral and therefore not an immutable trait. Therefore, the Loving rationale did not apply. As well, homosexuals were not considered powerless under the law, which is a required title to be a member of the semi-suspect classification. Additionally, the court in this case held that same-sex marriage is not a fundamental right included in the right to marry of all free men. The combination of these elements excluded gays and lesbians as part of a semi-suspect class deserving heightened scrutiny. Consequently, rational basis review was applied. Under this classification Washington State only needed to show a legitimate purpose with the means being rationally related to the stated purpose. The application of rational basis review made it easy for the state to restrict same-sex marriage since empirical evidence was not required to sustain rationality. In Andersen v. King County Justice Madsen stated:

"State Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was rationally related to state's interests in procreation and children's well-being, and thus DOMA's prohibition against same-sex marriage did not violate state constitution's privileges and immunities clause; procreation was legitimate government interest justifying limitation of marriage to opposite sex couples, as was encouragement of childrearing in traditional nuclear families where children tended to thrive… even if animus in part motivates legislative decisionmaking, unconstitutionality does not follow if the law is otherwise rationally related to legitimate state interests.”

This negation of the importance of animus is interesting especially when compared to the case of Romer v Evans No. 94-1039 (1996). In the case of Romer, Colorado was unable to prove that there was any rational correlation to a legitimate state purpose when it passed an amendment that restricted homosexuals’ access to legal protection. Therefore, animus alone was not substantial enough ground to single out an entire group of people. In Andersen, the state had a legitimate purpose. Subsequently, animus alone was not substantial enough ground to prevent exclusion of certain group members from a revered state institution. In both cases, animus is used to restrict the rights of gays and lesbians. On one hand it is used as a deciding factor, on the other it is merely incidental.
While marriage has evolved and has a new face in comparison to its historical appearance, there are still ideals that are tightly held by society and endorsed by the courts. 1967 brought anti-miscegenation under the strict scrutiny of the court and definitively resolved that marriage is a fundamental right of all. Gay marriage, the new union under attack, has struggled to secure the heightened scrutiny necessary to reap the benefits of this fundamental right. The current arguments are strikingly similar to the past uproar against mixed-race marriage. However, it is the difference of applied scrutiny by the courts that has kept advancement in the area of same-sex marriage at bay.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Evolution of my ID photos

I've been thinking about the quality of my ID photos, especially since I had to spend a good hour of my day at the DMV. I will blame this for an error I made in my clapotis.
At 16 I had a great photo. I was courtney love'd out and full of life. I had a big smile, because it was my big day. a right of passage.
At 21, I replaced my ID. I was no longer a blonde and I figured if the AZ facist doormen were going to let me imbibe, I should resemble my ID. Also, my face had began to rub off--a notorious problem for AZ IDs of the time. At this time I was the epitome of VGI, librarian chic. I still had a big smile, because I had reached yet another milestone. However, the AZ DMV are big ass faces. they made me look purple. It looked as though I had been holding my breath all day. They ruined what was otherwise a good picture.
I move to Seattle in 2002 and need to establish residency, so I needed a state ID STAT! I was still librarian chic and cute as the dickens. However there was an unexplainable shadow in the picture and it looks like I have a mustache. I was glad to get rid of that one.
2004 I got a car and needed an actual operator's license. I did not realize that the stone-aged DOL facilities did not take plastic. I had to run to the ATM across the street more times than I care to think about. In my photo I looked sweaty and windblown. not to mention the cyborg-esque reflection off my glasses. needless to say, I was happy when i lost this ID.
the new license I got was fine, except that i was dressed inappropriately. I was clad in a boat-neck shirt. So yah. in the ID photo i look naked.
The other night, while attempting to fill my wine addiction, I realized that the naked ID was not in my wallet. I came home and looked through purses, pants and jackets. I could not find it. The next day I went to the DOL. In the new photo I resemble a q-tip with crooked glasses. ANNOYING!!
anyway, long story short, guess what I found today? NAKED ID!!! in my head, i screamed every explicative in every language i have ever learned.
stupid driver license.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Breast cancer benefit

This is a show to help support a local woman recovering from breast cancer. She works for Fare Start and gives to the community everyday. This is a night when the community has the opportunity to give back to her.
Performers include Herman Jolly of Sunset Valley and the boys we all know and lust Royvelt and Brent Amaker and the Rodeo. I guarantee a good time. Hope to see you all there. For more information go to

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

yay! voting

in the last 24 hours we have seen democracy in action.
the moral party has fallen on bad graces. it's funny i thought it was the democrats that were scandalous heathens. hmmm... apparently both parties fall victim to the scandals inherent to politics. who knew?
triumphs include:
control of the house
at least a 50/50 split of senate
ding dong the wicked rumsfeld is dead, well his career anyway.
and our nations 1st female house speaker--EVER!!! (incidentally this makes Pelosi 3rd in line to the presidency. all we need to do is impeach bush for taking us to war under false pretense, let Harry Whittington have a vengence round to the face of cheney, and ta da--1st female president to US!!)
now do we see why voting is so important?
for more information go to
your crazy latina correspondent

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Vote or Die!!

Maybe a little extreme, but it is time once again to exercise one of our most important civil duties--to come together as an electorate and vote. Please notice I did not say this was a right or a privilege. Yes, I indeed meant duty. If every person that could vote actually did, we would have a very different looking nation.
For those of you who say: "why vote? It makes no difference?" That is because most of the other people who do not vote share your political views. During the 2004 election, it was projected that 50% of all eligible voters were registered to do so. Of that 50% registered, only about 50% of those folks voted (information I obtained through Washington Citizen's Action). So, tell me why again voting results are so skewed?
Get out and do your job as a citizen. If you don't like your options--write in a candidate. VOTE FOR ME!! Don't just sit around with your hand(s) down your pants! TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE IN THE DECISION MAKING IN YOUR COUNTRY!! Until you do, we can look forward to many more undesirables running the crucial interactions of our daily lives.
I don't think you want that, do you?

Monday, November 06, 2006

midterm midtacular

today was my last midterm. it was for women200 intro to women's studies. I must admit that I did not study a lick for it, save flipping through my reader to make sure the names would register with the articles come test time. And to that, i devoted all but five minutes of my time, while walking in the rain to class.
test is over and it was a cinch. i do not think i have ever taken an easier test. Nice thing about that is I know that what I am doing in this class is sufficient.
My last midterm, women310 women and law, i studied very hard. however, it was revealed that i need to pay closer attention to certain facts pertaining to cases. but no amount of extra studying would account for this since I would have repeatedly neglected to go over the occupations of the litigating women we discussed.
anyway, that's that for now. The only thing I have to worry about are 3 research papers with piggy backing due dates.
and the yikes begin all over again!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

did gloria steinem lie?

blinded me with science grew a pair and officially broke up with me on friday.
i am not terribly broken up about it. ultimately, it wasn't going to work out. i am a feminist and he is intimidated by a strong woman.
i think i knew better than to mix with someone younger than me.
i also think i have too much faith in people. i digress.
friday night i drank my weight in free booze. working the merch table at a packed show apparently has it's perks. crazy people infiltrated our sensitive, sweater vest fest and made musicians with valuable hands get violent. the booze made me think that i was physically capable of contributing to a fight situation. i learned the error of my ways and ran inside and hid.
that night i stayed up drinking until 6am and stayed at el casa de el jeffe.
Saturday night after knitting, i went to the bus stop and drank more and stayed at el casa de el jeffe.
this afternoon, i raced home, quickly changed, and raced downtown to see Borat with el jeffe and dj gay ipod.
i didn't really want to come home. but i did and ended up sleeping the day away.
i try not to be too telling usually, but sunday is the day that i look forward to staying at home, seeing no one, and being super productive. it is not my day to avoid being at home, do absolutely nothing and wish that the phone would ring for god's sake!
so, while i am not upset about not being with blinded me with science, i am apparently upset about the situation.
this has been my stand since the cursed movie garden state came out--natalie portman's character doesn't get the zack braff character. she scares the hell out of him. she sends him shreiking to therapy and away from commitment. she alienates those around her and invites personal criticism by those she most admires. she does not fit with the cool crowd and she freaks out the sensitives.
she drinks too much, lies, and experiences frequent emotional collapse. she is not charming, pined after, or anyone's muse.
i wonder if the feminists told her about this when they sold her the package.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

my brother the idiot!

so my brother is a big, stupid fuck up!
a few months ago he got busted doing a beer run. who the fuck does beer runs?!?! i pulled my brother aside and said the cool kids do not do beer runs. the cool kids get the uncool kids to do that for them. duh. good thing he has a positive role model like me, right?
or so i thought.
a month after that, he wrecked my dad's truck. this truck used to be my grandfather's and before that is was my great grandfather's. this beautiful, old truck has been in the family forever and my spoiled little shit of a brother decided it was a good idea to get drunk and wrap it around a light pole. stupid idiot.
and yet, the tale continues. when my dad told him he had to start going to school and actually start doing his work or get out of the house. my empty-headed brother broke my dad's guitar and left. good greif, right?
well, it got better tonight. my brother, while drunk yelled at a police officer and resisted arrest. i at least waited until i turned 21 to do dumb things like harrassing men in uniform.
this will be his 3rd appearance in front of a judge for the same thing--booze. last time he had to spend 5 days in juvenille detention. i can't even imagine what is in store for him this time.
people who pray, do that for him. people who think good thoughts, lay them on him. people who take lives in exchange for money, if you have a lay away plan i may be interested.

what's new?

today is the 1st day of november. and out with the old and in with the new is what i say.
so, what's new with me?
well, to start, mr. "blinded me with science" and i are on break for an unspecified duration. so i'm single, but not really. i don't really know what that means. i suppose i'm likely to find out here at some point. i think it means we broke up but neither of us has the balls to say it.
also, i declared my major. i am officially a women studies major. the nicest thing about this major, that i found out yeserday, is that i am not required to do a senior thesis. hip hip hooray! I just have to take a class in the spring in which i put together my academic vitae (is that the right spelling?) So, not only do I not have to write a big stinky research paper, but I am required to take a fluffy class that helps me put together an academic resume. could it be any better? not bloody likely!
what else is new? my brother is a juvenille delinquent. i have a brain tumor, or at least I think i do, because i have had a headache for the last 2 months. i'm thinking about where to move at the end of school and now the stress of GREs seems all to close.
anyway, other than that nothing else.
p.s. go to the sunset 11/3 @ 9pm to see superband rosyvelt and wish jeffey cakes a happy birthday!!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Project Runway: Operation Hilltop Yarn

Project Hilltop Runway


Thursday, Nov. 2 at 6:30 pm

will be our annual Hilltop fashion show, this year's theme:

Vests, V-necks, and Vino

Please do join us, it really is Seattle's knitting event of the year (if we do say so ourselves!)

why aren't my cats an adequate source of happiness?

It's funny how in one sentence relative worlds can change. Stifling really.
A string of words can bring strangers together as new best friends. It can make you realize that you can only look forward to uncomfortable conversations with someone. It can also hit you in the face and make you question the legitimacy of a relationship.
This is the reason I, at one time, wanted to be a linguist. Words have profound power.
It is with words that we express love, joy, approval, dismay, disgust, and contempt. It is with words that we build up and tear down the people closest to us. It is with words that one would express that something wrong with another makes him/her feel something other than good about themselves.
Words are a sword our psyche is a shield. Sometimes we view it the other way around. Sometimes we have so internalized how we perceive attacks upon our well being that we don't even consider how our words can pierce the one on the receiving end. We see ourselves as victims and don't realize we victimize in return. We rarely consider how hurtful what we say can be when we feel hurt ourselves.
My cats have no words. They love me. They do not harbor feelings of resentment for me simply being me. They don't try to change me. I am quite sure the thought never crosses their mind.
Yet it is the animosity of the world where I find meaning and fulfillment. Curse me and my faulty logic.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

knitting fever

since i haven't been feeling well i've been knitting up a storm! in the last few days, i've made 2 dish cloths, a scarf, one of two baby booties, and started a pot holder. here's a picture of the 1st of 2 baby booties. my friends just found out they were pregnant. i am very excited for them and am excited to finally have a baby to knit for. yay!!!

if you want to see more of my knits go to:

statement of vindication

allow me to saddle up on my high horse. ok here i go:
being feminine does not make me weak.
being strong does not make me masculine.
i can open my own jars, doors, and skulls when necessary.
I find baby talk degrating. I only use it when speaking to my cats, because I know they won't baby talk back to me. If they did I would have to get rid of them.
i HATE long goodbyes--when the conversation is over JUST SAY GOODBYE! why the need to recap the whole conversation? I was there. I know what we discussed.
don't assume because i am a feminist that i am angry, man-hating, or a lesbian.
i am fair complexioned, but don't think for a minute I won't make heads roll if a racist joke is ever made in my pressence.
I am polite, don't get it confused with demure.
I will never take a name that is different from the one that is already mine.
I will never comingle my finances with another.
I don't like to share.
I will be hard pressed to let a person that comes from my body take a surname other than my own.
Above all else, I am myself 100% of the time.
I love people and am loveable, sociable, caring and considerate.
It's only when you try to change me or refuse to understand where I am coming from that the hell bitch comes out.
xo, kiss kiss, and what have you

Sunday, October 22, 2006

sicky sick

my allergies are ripping me a new one. my head is in the clouds and i have so much to do. so i'm hoping that sitting on the couch, watching scrubs, and blogging would make me feel better. the only thing is i cannot formulate an original thought. So either we read while i transcribe Homer's Illyad and Odessy or we can tell me stories.
So here is your alter call.
Tell me a story to make me feel better

Friday, October 20, 2006

the mighty bush

those who know me know that i am fairly liberal about most every thing. i'm open and what ever colorful words you can think of to discribe communist hippy types--that's me. However, there is one thing I am a big prudey pants about and that is the naked body. can't help it, other people's pubes and boobs freak me the fuck out. sorry if that offends you or you wanted to show me your boobs and/or pubes. not my thing.
So when I go to the gym I try to get in and out of that damned locker room as quickly as possible. I try to be like the Flash without actually flashing everyone. inevitably some naked chick bends over sans towl and gives me a good glimpes of the old pooper. It is in these moments that I curse peripheral vision.
So, the other day in the midst of my get away. I bumped into a girl I vaguely knew when I first moved here. So she traps me in akward conversation while there is a naked parade passing behind her. Then if that wasn't bad enough. She didn't seem to think it was important to have her towel around her all the way. So, left exposed was her vag. one of those times I told you about that I curse peripheral vision. Yeah, I was desperately trying to get out of this conversation and it was not working. When I finally saw my wondow I must have appeared desperate to leave her presence. I just could not take another second of her bush staring at me from the opening of her towel.
it was too much to handle!!! TOO MUCH.

Gender everyday: yesterday

Gender Everyday: Yesterday

In elementary school there was a ritual. It happened every day at lunch recess. The popular boys would chase the most popular girls. The object was to catch the most popular girl so that the most popular boy could kiss her. The job lesser of the popular girls was to protect popular girl number one. The job of the lesser of the popular boys was to fend off the girls. It was kind of like full contact bridesmaids and groomsmen. The most popular girl was Billie Rockwell. I wish I could say I remembered the name of the popular alpha male. I was one of Billie’s defenders. I knew I was lower on the totem pole, but I never knew exactly where I fell in the pecking order. Then the day came that I would find out. Billie Rockwell was absent. Dear God! Whom would be chased? Whom would we protect? It was as much to deal with as a youngster should ever have to. Then at lunch, as I was bouncing my hotdog off my orange lunch tray, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was one of the cronies of the elementary alpha male. They said: “Get ready to run, because we’re chasing you today.” That made me the second most popular girl in my grade. I was ecstatic. All the other girls surrounded me and spoke of the tactics of keeping me safe from the lips of Mr. Handsome, the littlest alpha male. That was the pivotal day in the journey of gender and me, though it took years to be cognizant of this understanding.
Being chosen as second in the pecking order may not be obvious in regard to gender and its effects on me. However, I remember coming home and really analyzing the way I had been ranked. In my mind it meant that I was more worthy than most and not as worthy as one. I thought about what set me apart from those other girls and what kept me from being number one. I thought about Billie Rockwell. She was tiny. In fact she was always in the front row, sitting, in our class photos. She was cute as sin. She had cute little clothes, cute hair, and a smile that went from one end of the room to the other. She was also a damsel. Whenever she could not do something, she always asked a boy for help--and she was ALWAYS asking boys for help. She was the epitome of “girly.” I was close, but no cigar. While I did not understand the repercussions of this realization, I understood that my worth was based one how “girly” I was perceived. That night I called Billie and told her about the excitement. We talked on the phone every night from then on and after studying my subjects I studied the girl whose power I would overthrow in dominating the pink sphere of “girlyhood.” Victory WOULD be mine.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Amicus Curiae assignment

This memorandum is being written to petition The Center for the Advancement of Women in Public Service to submit an Amicus Curiae brief in the case of Pinkerton v Rumsfeld.

Currently the government is attempting to uphold the exclusion of women from military combat. While this may be a source of relief for some women, it is an area of contention for others. At this time Sally Pinkerton is suing the government for the right to engage in combat. Whether combat is a noble endeavor or not is moot. What is important to consider here is that to deny Sally the right to fight in combat is a violation of her rights under the Equal Protection Act of the Fourteenth Amendment (U.S. Constitution).

As stated by the Fourteenth Amendment: “No state shall …deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” In the current case of Pinkerton v Rumsfeld, it is being argued by the government that a woman’s role as prospective mother makes her unfit for combat and she should therefore be excluded from a possible draft. This is in direct conflict with equal protection as specified by the Constitution.

Government sanctioned fetal protection is a form of sex-based discrimination that treats all women as if they will bear children. It assumes that all women are potential mothers regardless of fertility and whether or not they at all wish to become mothers. If this logic were followed in the case of men, the nation would have no combat fighters available. Due to basic biology, every person is a perspective parent. Do the duties as parents actually supersede the duties of national protection? Or is this just a way to eliminate the opportunity of combat to a certain class of people? Since the distinction of parenthood is not carried over to men, it is safe to conclude that the rule keeping women out of combat is meant to impede access to a certain class of people. At its best, this statute is capricious and unreasonable. As stated in Reed v Reed [404 U.S. 71 (1971)] “the arbitrary preference established in favor of males…cannot stand in the face of the Fourteenth Amendment’s command that no state deny the equal protection of the laws to any person within its jurisdiction”(Bartlett, 16).

Allowing women into front line combat will not jeopardize the United States’ position as a world power. Nor will it negate the efforts of war. Having women in the thick of battle will not make the nation’s efforts in war more exhausted and will not cause American troops to lose battles. Bullets fired by women are just as strong as those fired by men. Moreover, it has been decided that preferential or discriminatory treatment on the basis of an immutable characteristic such as sex cannot hold as it is a result of the accident of birth and not of merit. Also, that the attribute of sex “frequently bears no relation to the ability to perform.” [Frontiero v Richardson 411 U.S. 677 (1973)] (Bartlett, 16).

These two court cases illustrate two very important points: that sex does not equate to merit and that arbitrary rules that give preferential status to a class based on sex, or taken away by the same token, do not coincide with the regulations prescribed by the Fourteenth Amendment. It is for these reasons that women should be allowed to enter into combat. In Rotsker v Goldberg 453 U.S. 57 (1981), it was decided that women were to be excluded from the draft. This decision was made on the basis that the draft is used in times of mobilizing combat and women are prohibited from occupying combat positions. If women are considered for combat, then this case lacks precedence. That is to say, if women are allowed to enter into combat it would only makes sense to require them to register with the Military Selective Service for possible future drafts. The notion of the draft is not the relevant argument in the case. The argument is whether it is constitutionally acceptable to exclude women from combat. Disallowance of the draft does not negate a woman’s access to combat, but the absence of women in combat negates the draft.

In Pinkerton v Rumsfeld, the idea that the potential of becoming a parent can exclude one sex from front line combat and not the other is, on its face, an illegal sex-based discrimination. Such a statute is not sanctioned by the Fourteenth Amendment and does nothing to promote victory in times of war. Weighing the facts, a logical person can only come to the conclusion that prohibiting women from joining in combat is arbitrary, sexist, and unconstitutional. It is for this reason that CAWPS is requested to draft an Amicus Curiae brief on behalf of Sally Pinkerton.

toe to head the inverse of head to toe

I think it important to note that I am on the verge of emotional implosion. It's not the most important thing to note about me, but currently it is taking precedence.
Anyway, as I was getting dressed this morning I realized this headache that has been plaguing me for the last month or so is in fact stress-related. I feel the stress ever mounting. How does it all balance? school, work, cats, friends, working out, boyfriend, ....sanity? I need to trim back one some aspects of this equation. Up to this point, I haven't even considered sanity. And sanity has made itself known as a required situation this past week. stupid sanity!
I digress. With all of this fleeting through my mind, I got dressed in quite a different fashion than I normally do.
I will be completely honest and say that when I get dressed I think of whom I will see and what will make me look more favorably to them. It sucks, I know, but it is what goes through my mind as I put on the obnoxious jungle pants. Which is to say, I don't always dress for approval. Very often I dress to repulse. But as I got dressed this particular morning, I thought back to a simpler time. A time when I knew I wasn't fashionable and didn't give a rats ass. So as I write I am dressed as follows: black mary jane's; maroon, grey, and black striped leggings; black, pleated skirt, grey long-sleeved shirt underneath a maroon, youth soccer t-shirt. I look absolutely ridiculous! And it has made me a bit happier, if not overall at least when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
now I have decided to dedicate an hour to myself to do nothing homework related. I'm going to get a chamomile tea and a greasy piece of pizza and take deep cleansing breaths. Ahhh... The zen of an over extended student.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

the art of studying

my class work load is currently stifling. i am quite sure that each of my professors are convinced that theirs is my only class. so they pile on the reading material liberally (and we all know liberal=evil). i am drowing in a see of feminist theory and supreme court rulings.
last night at knitting group, the duchess gave me an excellent tip. When reading for class read the intro and conclusion of each chapter. as well, read the 1st and last paragraph of each section. if i still feel i don't have a solid understanding of the material, read the 1st and last sentence of each paragraph. I'm going to give it a try today!!!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

gender everyday: this morning

Women 200

“This Morning”

This morning began the same as most. At 7:00am, the alarm war began. Sleep was defeated by 7:30am. I got out of bed, disrobed, weighed myself, hopped into the shower and performed my ritual in a blur. I washed my hair, with Curly Sexy Hair shampoo and conditioner; lathered up, with organic bar soap; shaved head-toe-toe; exfoliated my face, using Aveeno facial scrub; rinsed; and hopped out as quickly as I hopped in. Before drying, I put on a kettle for tea and popped bread in the toaster. After toweling off, I put on the clothes I laid out the night before—a cute, short-sleeved, zip-up hooded sweatshirt riddled with miniature, multi-colored hearts; black, elastic-waist Capri pants; and comfy flip flops. Once adorably clad, I brushed my teeth, with Tom’s of Maine toothpaste; moisturized my face, with Dove facial lotion; applied my Earth Science, all-natural hippy deodorant and baptized myself with Bath & Body Works Coconut Lime Verbena body splash. For breakfast, I crammed two slices of buttered flax seed toast into my gullet and slammed down a cup of organic Oolong tea. I quickly blow dried my hair and rubbed Ice molder styling product into it. Before racing out the door, I fed the cats, grabbed a Clif Bar and strapped on my pink floral, Velo Bella bike helmet. I locked the door and hopped on my bicycle, university bound.

I pride myself in being aware of the ways in which gender is constructed. The things I consume and my routine primarily center on my obsession with longevity. Hence, I primarily use all-natural products and eat organic. However, there are some elements of the “putting Shannon together” process that are distinctly affected by my gender identity. I do not shave often. In fact, I almost never shave. The reason I shaved this particular morning was because I knew I was going to see my boyfriend that evening and, as much as it pains me to admit, I cannot feel sexual while I have hair in “places I should not.” Also, when it comes to eating I tend to force myself to be a grazer. I don’t want to starve, but I do eat a handful of small meals in hopes that I will metabolize more efficiently. When I moved to Seattle, four years ago, I gained thirty pounds. Since then I have lost all but ten and am obsessed with getting the rest of it off and keeping it at bay. In fact, for a better part of my day, this obsession consumes my thoughts. It makes me feel guilty about indulging. It is for this reason that I keep the indulgence to a minimum, weigh myself every morning and drink lots of Oolong tea (as I have read it breaks down fat more efficiently than green tea). As well, the bike riding has a hand in creating my gendered identity. What seems like a pro-health activity is actually motivated by my obsession with being thin. The most dangerous element in the way I actively pursue femininity is the way my motivation to be “girly” is cloaked under seemingly positive things like hygiene, healthy eating and exercise. I do this so that no one will ever suspect my underling insecurity with my appearance. In the event that I ever do lose myself to my obsession, I will be quite skilled in covering it up and could potentially spiral out of control. It is my hope that knowing this will keep me from becoming extreme in my feminine pursuits.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The September of Shannon

I quit my job at an investment firm that will remain nameless. I was employed working m-f 8-4:30pm. I abhorred every minute of it. I was so relieved when I finally quit. I felt my soul return to my body on my 1st day off. It was a beautiful feeling.
I am currently working more hours at Hilltop Yarn and loving every second of it. I'm getting more knitting done, pictures to come later, and watching a lot of daytime television. In the last few days, young and the restless, or as my mom has dubbed it Y&R, has been quite exciting! Victor is in the psychiatric ward, he nearly shot Nikki. Drusilla broke in and cut up the clothes of Carmen, the suspected mistress of husband Neil. Jack Abbott is primping to buy Jabot Cosmetics. Gloria is scheming to set up Jill with Ashley's beau. Oh it's great!!! In fact, a new episode will be on in t-minus 5 minutes.
Ciao, ciao!