Tuesday, October 31, 2006

my brother the idiot!

so my brother is a big, stupid fuck up!
a few months ago he got busted doing a beer run. who the fuck does beer runs?!?! i pulled my brother aside and said the cool kids do not do beer runs. the cool kids get the uncool kids to do that for them. duh. good thing he has a positive role model like me, right?
or so i thought.
a month after that, he wrecked my dad's truck. this truck used to be my grandfather's and before that is was my great grandfather's. this beautiful, old truck has been in the family forever and my spoiled little shit of a brother decided it was a good idea to get drunk and wrap it around a light pole. stupid idiot.
and yet, the tale continues. when my dad told him he had to start going to school and actually start doing his work or get out of the house. my empty-headed brother broke my dad's guitar and left. good greif, right?
well, it got better tonight. my brother, while drunk yelled at a police officer and resisted arrest. i at least waited until i turned 21 to do dumb things like harrassing men in uniform.
this will be his 3rd appearance in front of a judge for the same thing--booze. last time he had to spend 5 days in juvenille detention. i can't even imagine what is in store for him this time.
people who pray, do that for him. people who think good thoughts, lay them on him. people who take lives in exchange for money, if you have a lay away plan i may be interested.

what's new?

today is the 1st day of november. and out with the old and in with the new is what i say.
so, what's new with me?
well, to start, mr. "blinded me with science" and i are on break for an unspecified duration. so i'm single, but not really. i don't really know what that means. i suppose i'm likely to find out here at some point. i think it means we broke up but neither of us has the balls to say it.
also, i declared my major. i am officially a women studies major. the nicest thing about this major, that i found out yeserday, is that i am not required to do a senior thesis. hip hip hooray! I just have to take a class in the spring in which i put together my academic vitae (is that the right spelling?) So, not only do I not have to write a big stinky research paper, but I am required to take a fluffy class that helps me put together an academic resume. could it be any better? not bloody likely!
what else is new? my brother is a juvenille delinquent. i have a brain tumor, or at least I think i do, because i have had a headache for the last 2 months. i'm thinking about where to move at the end of school and now the stress of GREs seems all to close.
anyway, other than that nothing else.
p.s. go to the sunset 11/3 @ 9pm to see superband rosyvelt and wish jeffey cakes a happy birthday!!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Project Runway: Operation Hilltop Yarn

Project Hilltop Runway


Thursday, Nov. 2 at 6:30 pm

will be our annual Hilltop fashion show, this year's theme:

Vests, V-necks, and Vino

Please do join us, it really is Seattle's knitting event of the year (if we do say so ourselves!)

why aren't my cats an adequate source of happiness?

It's funny how in one sentence relative worlds can change. Stifling really.
A string of words can bring strangers together as new best friends. It can make you realize that you can only look forward to uncomfortable conversations with someone. It can also hit you in the face and make you question the legitimacy of a relationship.
This is the reason I, at one time, wanted to be a linguist. Words have profound power.
It is with words that we express love, joy, approval, dismay, disgust, and contempt. It is with words that we build up and tear down the people closest to us. It is with words that one would express that something wrong with another makes him/her feel something other than good about themselves.
Words are a sword our psyche is a shield. Sometimes we view it the other way around. Sometimes we have so internalized how we perceive attacks upon our well being that we don't even consider how our words can pierce the one on the receiving end. We see ourselves as victims and don't realize we victimize in return. We rarely consider how hurtful what we say can be when we feel hurt ourselves.
My cats have no words. They love me. They do not harbor feelings of resentment for me simply being me. They don't try to change me. I am quite sure the thought never crosses their mind.
Yet it is the animosity of the world where I find meaning and fulfillment. Curse me and my faulty logic.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

knitting fever

since i haven't been feeling well i've been knitting up a storm! in the last few days, i've made 2 dish cloths, a scarf, one of two baby booties, and started a pot holder. here's a picture of the 1st of 2 baby booties. my friends just found out they were pregnant. i am very excited for them and am excited to finally have a baby to knit for. yay!!!

if you want to see more of my knits go to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shannarama/sets/72157594291162401/

statement of vindication

allow me to saddle up on my high horse. ok here i go:
being feminine does not make me weak.
being strong does not make me masculine.
i can open my own jars, doors, and skulls when necessary.
I find baby talk degrating. I only use it when speaking to my cats, because I know they won't baby talk back to me. If they did I would have to get rid of them.
i HATE long goodbyes--when the conversation is over JUST SAY GOODBYE! why the need to recap the whole conversation? I was there. I know what we discussed.
don't assume because i am a feminist that i am angry, man-hating, or a lesbian.
i am fair complexioned, but don't think for a minute I won't make heads roll if a racist joke is ever made in my pressence.
I am polite, don't get it confused with demure.
I will never take a name that is different from the one that is already mine.
I will never comingle my finances with another.
I don't like to share.
I will be hard pressed to let a person that comes from my body take a surname other than my own.
Above all else, I am myself 100% of the time.
I love people and am loveable, sociable, caring and considerate.
It's only when you try to change me or refuse to understand where I am coming from that the hell bitch comes out.
xo, kiss kiss, and what have you

Sunday, October 22, 2006

sicky sick

my allergies are ripping me a new one. my head is in the clouds and i have so much to do. so i'm hoping that sitting on the couch, watching scrubs, and blogging would make me feel better. the only thing is i cannot formulate an original thought. So either we read while i transcribe Homer's Illyad and Odessy or we can tell me stories.
So here is your alter call.
Tell me a story to make me feel better

Friday, October 20, 2006

the mighty bush

those who know me know that i am fairly liberal about most every thing. i'm open and what ever colorful words you can think of to discribe communist hippy types--that's me. However, there is one thing I am a big prudey pants about and that is the naked body. can't help it, other people's pubes and boobs freak me the fuck out. sorry if that offends you or you wanted to show me your boobs and/or pubes. not my thing.
So when I go to the gym I try to get in and out of that damned locker room as quickly as possible. I try to be like the Flash without actually flashing everyone. inevitably some naked chick bends over sans towl and gives me a good glimpes of the old pooper. It is in these moments that I curse peripheral vision.
So, the other day in the midst of my get away. I bumped into a girl I vaguely knew when I first moved here. So she traps me in akward conversation while there is a naked parade passing behind her. Then if that wasn't bad enough. She didn't seem to think it was important to have her towel around her all the way. So, left exposed was her vag. one of those times I told you about that I curse peripheral vision. Yeah, I was desperately trying to get out of this conversation and it was not working. When I finally saw my wondow I must have appeared desperate to leave her presence. I just could not take another second of her bush staring at me from the opening of her towel.
it was too much to handle!!! TOO MUCH.

Gender everyday: yesterday

Gender Everyday: Yesterday

In elementary school there was a ritual. It happened every day at lunch recess. The popular boys would chase the most popular girls. The object was to catch the most popular girl so that the most popular boy could kiss her. The job lesser of the popular girls was to protect popular girl number one. The job of the lesser of the popular boys was to fend off the girls. It was kind of like full contact bridesmaids and groomsmen. The most popular girl was Billie Rockwell. I wish I could say I remembered the name of the popular alpha male. I was one of Billie’s defenders. I knew I was lower on the totem pole, but I never knew exactly where I fell in the pecking order. Then the day came that I would find out. Billie Rockwell was absent. Dear God! Whom would be chased? Whom would we protect? It was as much to deal with as a youngster should ever have to. Then at lunch, as I was bouncing my hotdog off my orange lunch tray, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was one of the cronies of the elementary alpha male. They said: “Get ready to run, because we’re chasing you today.” That made me the second most popular girl in my grade. I was ecstatic. All the other girls surrounded me and spoke of the tactics of keeping me safe from the lips of Mr. Handsome, the littlest alpha male. That was the pivotal day in the journey of gender and me, though it took years to be cognizant of this understanding.
Being chosen as second in the pecking order may not be obvious in regard to gender and its effects on me. However, I remember coming home and really analyzing the way I had been ranked. In my mind it meant that I was more worthy than most and not as worthy as one. I thought about what set me apart from those other girls and what kept me from being number one. I thought about Billie Rockwell. She was tiny. In fact she was always in the front row, sitting, in our class photos. She was cute as sin. She had cute little clothes, cute hair, and a smile that went from one end of the room to the other. She was also a damsel. Whenever she could not do something, she always asked a boy for help--and she was ALWAYS asking boys for help. She was the epitome of “girly.” I was close, but no cigar. While I did not understand the repercussions of this realization, I understood that my worth was based one how “girly” I was perceived. That night I called Billie and told her about the excitement. We talked on the phone every night from then on and after studying my subjects I studied the girl whose power I would overthrow in dominating the pink sphere of “girlyhood.” Victory WOULD be mine.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Amicus Curiae assignment

This memorandum is being written to petition The Center for the Advancement of Women in Public Service to submit an Amicus Curiae brief in the case of Pinkerton v Rumsfeld.

Currently the government is attempting to uphold the exclusion of women from military combat. While this may be a source of relief for some women, it is an area of contention for others. At this time Sally Pinkerton is suing the government for the right to engage in combat. Whether combat is a noble endeavor or not is moot. What is important to consider here is that to deny Sally the right to fight in combat is a violation of her rights under the Equal Protection Act of the Fourteenth Amendment (U.S. Constitution).

As stated by the Fourteenth Amendment: “No state shall …deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” In the current case of Pinkerton v Rumsfeld, it is being argued by the government that a woman’s role as prospective mother makes her unfit for combat and she should therefore be excluded from a possible draft. This is in direct conflict with equal protection as specified by the Constitution.

Government sanctioned fetal protection is a form of sex-based discrimination that treats all women as if they will bear children. It assumes that all women are potential mothers regardless of fertility and whether or not they at all wish to become mothers. If this logic were followed in the case of men, the nation would have no combat fighters available. Due to basic biology, every person is a perspective parent. Do the duties as parents actually supersede the duties of national protection? Or is this just a way to eliminate the opportunity of combat to a certain class of people? Since the distinction of parenthood is not carried over to men, it is safe to conclude that the rule keeping women out of combat is meant to impede access to a certain class of people. At its best, this statute is capricious and unreasonable. As stated in Reed v Reed [404 U.S. 71 (1971)] “the arbitrary preference established in favor of males…cannot stand in the face of the Fourteenth Amendment’s command that no state deny the equal protection of the laws to any person within its jurisdiction”(Bartlett, 16).

Allowing women into front line combat will not jeopardize the United States’ position as a world power. Nor will it negate the efforts of war. Having women in the thick of battle will not make the nation’s efforts in war more exhausted and will not cause American troops to lose battles. Bullets fired by women are just as strong as those fired by men. Moreover, it has been decided that preferential or discriminatory treatment on the basis of an immutable characteristic such as sex cannot hold as it is a result of the accident of birth and not of merit. Also, that the attribute of sex “frequently bears no relation to the ability to perform.” [Frontiero v Richardson 411 U.S. 677 (1973)] (Bartlett, 16).

These two court cases illustrate two very important points: that sex does not equate to merit and that arbitrary rules that give preferential status to a class based on sex, or taken away by the same token, do not coincide with the regulations prescribed by the Fourteenth Amendment. It is for these reasons that women should be allowed to enter into combat. In Rotsker v Goldberg 453 U.S. 57 (1981), it was decided that women were to be excluded from the draft. This decision was made on the basis that the draft is used in times of mobilizing combat and women are prohibited from occupying combat positions. If women are considered for combat, then this case lacks precedence. That is to say, if women are allowed to enter into combat it would only makes sense to require them to register with the Military Selective Service for possible future drafts. The notion of the draft is not the relevant argument in the case. The argument is whether it is constitutionally acceptable to exclude women from combat. Disallowance of the draft does not negate a woman’s access to combat, but the absence of women in combat negates the draft.

In Pinkerton v Rumsfeld, the idea that the potential of becoming a parent can exclude one sex from front line combat and not the other is, on its face, an illegal sex-based discrimination. Such a statute is not sanctioned by the Fourteenth Amendment and does nothing to promote victory in times of war. Weighing the facts, a logical person can only come to the conclusion that prohibiting women from joining in combat is arbitrary, sexist, and unconstitutional. It is for this reason that CAWPS is requested to draft an Amicus Curiae brief on behalf of Sally Pinkerton.

toe to head the inverse of head to toe

I think it important to note that I am on the verge of emotional implosion. It's not the most important thing to note about me, but currently it is taking precedence.
Anyway, as I was getting dressed this morning I realized this headache that has been plaguing me for the last month or so is in fact stress-related. I feel the stress ever mounting. How does it all balance? school, work, cats, friends, working out, boyfriend, ....sanity? I need to trim back one some aspects of this equation. Up to this point, I haven't even considered sanity. And sanity has made itself known as a required situation this past week. stupid sanity!
I digress. With all of this fleeting through my mind, I got dressed in quite a different fashion than I normally do.
I will be completely honest and say that when I get dressed I think of whom I will see and what will make me look more favorably to them. It sucks, I know, but it is what goes through my mind as I put on the obnoxious jungle pants. Which is to say, I don't always dress for approval. Very often I dress to repulse. But as I got dressed this particular morning, I thought back to a simpler time. A time when I knew I wasn't fashionable and didn't give a rats ass. So as I write I am dressed as follows: black mary jane's; maroon, grey, and black striped leggings; black, pleated skirt, grey long-sleeved shirt underneath a maroon, youth soccer t-shirt. I look absolutely ridiculous! And it has made me a bit happier, if not overall at least when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
now I have decided to dedicate an hour to myself to do nothing homework related. I'm going to get a chamomile tea and a greasy piece of pizza and take deep cleansing breaths. Ahhh... The zen of an over extended student.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

the art of studying

my class work load is currently stifling. i am quite sure that each of my professors are convinced that theirs is my only class. so they pile on the reading material liberally (and we all know liberal=evil). i am drowing in a see of feminist theory and supreme court rulings.
last night at knitting group, the duchess gave me an excellent tip. When reading for class read the intro and conclusion of each chapter. as well, read the 1st and last paragraph of each section. if i still feel i don't have a solid understanding of the material, read the 1st and last sentence of each paragraph. I'm going to give it a try today!!!