Sunday, October 29, 2006

why aren't my cats an adequate source of happiness?

It's funny how in one sentence relative worlds can change. Stifling really.
A string of words can bring strangers together as new best friends. It can make you realize that you can only look forward to uncomfortable conversations with someone. It can also hit you in the face and make you question the legitimacy of a relationship.
This is the reason I, at one time, wanted to be a linguist. Words have profound power.
It is with words that we express love, joy, approval, dismay, disgust, and contempt. It is with words that we build up and tear down the people closest to us. It is with words that one would express that something wrong with another makes him/her feel something other than good about themselves.
Words are a sword our psyche is a shield. Sometimes we view it the other way around. Sometimes we have so internalized how we perceive attacks upon our well being that we don't even consider how our words can pierce the one on the receiving end. We see ourselves as victims and don't realize we victimize in return. We rarely consider how hurtful what we say can be when we feel hurt ourselves.
My cats have no words. They love me. They do not harbor feelings of resentment for me simply being me. They don't try to change me. I am quite sure the thought never crosses their mind.
Yet it is the animosity of the world where I find meaning and fulfillment. Curse me and my faulty logic.