spic n' span

After the whirlwind that was the end of the quarter/ beginning of the month for me, there were many things left to be tidied. I have occupied a sufficient amount of time with couch sitting and channel surfing. My cousin will be in town this weekend for a wedding, so I decided that today was probably a pretty good day to pick up around the house. (I have a bag of charcoal sitting next to my bed. that seems a little ridiculous to me.)

Anyway, my first order of business was to tackle the shoe closet. No, it is not a closet comprised solely of shoes. No pun intended. Yes, it is a closet comprised mostly of shoes. I got a new shoe rack to accommodate my shoe overflow issues. Note that I did not scale back on shoes nor did I stop purchasing them. The shoe rack has been sitting in the hallway waiting to be put in its new home. I put it in the closet, put the mess of shoes onto it, and now the closet is way less of a scary shoe monster.
However, while I was cleaning I picked up a bead and began to think to myself, "gee wiz, that sure is a funny place to find a bead." Then after closer inspection my thoughts quickly switched to, "What the F#@%? Why the hell is there a tooth in my closet?!?" Who's tooth is it and how did it get there?

Truth be told, it could be one of mine. I have a collection of most of the teeth I've had ripped out of my face in my lifetime. I keep saying that one day I'll make jewelry out of them. Incidentally, it's been awhile since I've seen that little tin o' teeth. Hopefully, the cats haven't opened it and swallowed any. That would make me sad a little.

Hmmm...

I'm feeling reflective.
It's weird to sit down and realize that in the last week everything about my life is different.
I suppose everything changes and all good things must come to an end, what goes up must come down, etc...
Anyway, it still seems odd when face-to-face with such big changes.
Good thing humans acclimate to change quickly.

sometimes i remember

I don't remember anything very often. However, sometimes I remember why I moved to Seattle.
For the most part, it is because I feel safe. But safe is no cause for celebration, rather it is dull and I'm not interested in it.
It's not really the most bike-friendly place and most of the people think they are better than me. It makes me laugh, too.
However, as I battled drunk traffic on my bike on my way home from gay bingo tonight, a man ran into the street and flashed me his tata's.

it was great. I could not help but smile and laugh. it made my night and i could tell my response made his.
would this interaction happen in Manhattan? or Worchester? i think not.
everyone can suck it, cuz seattle is my home

Seattle vigil

On February 12th, 2008, 15-year-old Lawrence King was shot and killed at E.O. Green School in Oxnard, California.

A fellow student (aged 14 years old) came into their school's computer lab and shot Lawrence "Larry" twice in the back of his head.

A few weeks prior to the shooting, Lawrence had publicly come out at his school for being gay and endured much harassment every where that he went. He had asked the boy who shot him to be his valentine not realizing that it would be the death of him. The main group of students that harassed him were the shooter and his friends.

Would you kill someone just because you didn't want to be their valentine?

He'll never graduate. He'll never learn how to drive. He'll never get his own job. His family and friends won't ever get to see him again..

..Just because someone couldn't handle his differences.


This is an action alert to advise you that on Sunday, March 9 at 5:15pm,
after the Safe Schools Coalition's viewing and discussion of "It's Still
Elementary" at the Broadway Performance Hall from 2pm-5pm (visit
Safe Schools Coalition for more information!!), GLSEN Washington
State, in a partnership with ACTION Northwest, there will be a
candlelight vigil in honor of Lawrence, and other youth that have been killed due their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.
The vigil will be held in front of the Broadway Performance Hall, 1625
Broadway, Seattle, WA 98122.

Scheduled speakers currently include Commissioner Jerry Hebert from the
Washington State Human Rights Commission. Stay tuned to GLSEN Washington State for the latest information on who is scheduled to speak.

If you would like to volunteer to set up for the event, they could use the
help! Contact either David Hildebrand at dave@glsenwa.org or Joe Bento at
joe@glsenwa.org.



Let your light for safe zones shine.

University of Washington study abroad opportunity!!

Roskilde, Denmark, Autumn 2008


Race, Gender, and Nation: Immigration in Denmark and the United States
(Program dates: August 30, 2008 - December 15, 2008 -- 24 Credits
Sponsored by The Comparative History of Ideas Department)
A recent study named Denmark the happiest place on earth. That people in Denmark report a high degree of happiness isn’t surprising, given widespread economic prosperity and extensive government-funded healthcare, education and social service programs. Denmark is also a beautiful country—bounded by white sand beaches and fishing ports on all sides and filled with sprawling castles and parks and distinctively Danish modern art, architecture and design. But happiness isn’t the only thing that has recently put Denmark on the map. A set of cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad first published in a Danish newspaper in 2006 sparked protests across Europe and the Middle East over the unequal treatment of Muslim immigrants in Denmark as symbolic of their treatment around the world. And a country that has historically been defined by progressive politics and inclusivity is increasingly shutting its doors to immigrants; largely through the rise in power of a nationalist radical right party that is working to restrict Denmark’s public resources to ’ethnic Danes’ alone.

As in Denmark, immigration is currently a topic of widespread public discussion and concern in the United States. The U.S. Congress has been debating major immigration reforms, the U.S./Mexico border is increasingly fortified and militarized in the name of Homeland Security, and immigrant communities and families across the country are being split apart through detention and deportations. At the same time, unprecedented numbers of immigrants have been resisting their treatment by the U.S. government, employers, and everyday people as they march for immigrant rights and a path to citizenship.

Program Description
The interplay of race, gender and nation is paid little attention in popular and scholarly analyses of Danish and U.S. immigration. As the University of Washington’s first explicitly feminist study abroad program, this program will center the roles that race, gender and nation play in images and stories of immigration in Denmark and the United States in the context of contemporary inequalities of globalization.

Students enrolled in the program will live and take classes at Roskilde University (www.ruc.dk), which is 25 minutes by train from Denmark’s capital, Copenhagen. Regular program excursions to museums, neighborhoods and public and private organizations in Copenhagen and Roskilde will supplement students’ work in the classroom. All students will also work together to produce group projects that explore some aspect of race, gender, nation and immigration in the U.S. and/or Denmark. Students will have the opportunity to complete these projects in collaboration with public or non-governmental organizations. These projects could culminate in a long research paper, but students will also be encouraged to take a creative approach to the projects that incorporates, for example, visual art, literature, and/or documentary films.

Students will prepare for the study abroad program during Spring 2008 with a required 2 credit non-graded pre-departure seminar (CHID 496). This seminar will focus on feminist perspectives on race, gender and globalization and group learning in the context of study abroad. Study abroad in Denmark will begin August 30 and end December 15 2008.
This program is open to students from all backgrounds. All students are encouraged to apply.

Curriculum
Students will receive between 20 and 25 total UW credits in Women Studies or CHID for the following:
1. Roskilde University Cultural Encounters program core course (September 8 to October 3)
2. “Images and Stories of Immigration” thematic course (October 6 to November 7)
3. Students’ choice of one of three other Cultural Encounters thematic courses on ethnicity, nationalism, identity, religion and culture (October 6 to November 7)
4. Participation in program outings and assignments outside the classroom
5. Completion of group projects

Language Study
Students are strongly encouraged to take some Danish classes before or during the program. Options for doing this include:
1. Coming to Denmark two weeks before the program begins to take part in Roskilde’s introductory course for international students, which includes an introduction to Denmark and Roskilde’s unique approach to teaching and learning as well as introductory Danish lessons. The course runs from August 13 to August 27, 9:30 am to 2 pm every weekday. (Students would have to pay an additional cost--approximately $500 US--for this introductory course.)
2. Taking Danish classes at Roskilde Fall semester during the program
Note: students will receive additional credit for language study.

Details:
go to the CHID International page
Questions? Contact Laura Hart Newton: lnewlon@gmail.com

Ta Da

Happy V-Day, Singles Awareness Day, Happy "anything but Valentine's" day
Today is a bright, sunny day. Not so damn cold as we've seen in these parts as of late. Tomorrow is the beginning of a long weekend of doing nothing with my lover Harpo. I am hoping it also marks the end of peak flow season for the month. Because when we're not busy doing nothing, I want us to be busy doing it. ha ha.
Anyway, we're going on a secret trip. so, I will not disclose any details for fear that this is the one time Harpo reads my blog.
I'm going to import a list from last year, because I feel the topic is timeless. "Better ways to dedicate your time than with the empty tokens of Valentine's Day"
My suggestions include:
1. name a pinata after an ex-partner. the difference between the pinata and your ex is that there is actually sweetness inside a pinata.
2. for every nice thing you say to a single person, say 5 not-so-nice things to that obnoxious couple ahead of you in line for [insert errand here]. you know who they are: "no i love you more, schmoopy." (or just go out of your way to do something really nice. like when you're buying your local homeless-run newspaper, like i know you were already planning on doing anyway, give them an extra dollar.)
3. fly a kite and/or catch raindrops on your tongue (these are climate-based suggestions).
4. get a foot and/or hand massage. whether you're a man or a woman, your hands and feet work hard and deserve to be treated.
5. replace one green vegetable in your meals with dessert all day, and if you were already planning on eating dessert--double dessert!!
6. just get rid of that box of letters already! (oh, you certainly do know what I'm talking about! ::snap, snap::)
7. part your hair on the opposite side, so you can see how you look to other people.
8. learn the alphabet in a foreign language (or learn the alphabet of your native tongue)
9. try a new food you always thought you would hate, but this time do it pretending you've always thought you'd love it. (this is especially good for people IN relationships to do w/o their significant other. this is good because there isn't anyone there to say "i knew you'd like it!" it can be your little secret).
10. get ridiculously dressed up and go to the grocery store. you'll feel like a celebrity--everyone will stop and look at you.

Just an aside, I parted my hair on the opposite side. I completely forgot it was on my list. Isn't that just a total gas?

V-day

I mentioned Vday in my previous post and realized that some people might not be familiar with it. If this is the case, you are on the wrong blog. For the sake of information dissemination here is the run down.

Mission:
V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.
V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.
V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.
V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities.
V-Day is a catalyst: By raising money and consciousness, it will unify and strengthen existing anti-violence efforts. Triggering far-reaching awareness, it will lay the groundwork for new educational, protective, and legislative endeavors throughout the world.
V-Day is a process: We will work as long as it takes. We will not stop until the violence stops.
V-Day is a day. We proclaim Valentine's Day as V-Day, to celebrate women and end the violence.


History
V-Day was born in 1998 as an outgrowth of Eve Ensler's Obie-Award winning play, "The Vagina Monologues." As Eve performed the piece in small towns and large cities all around the world, she saw and heard first hand the destructive personal, social, political and economic consequences violence against women has for many nations.

Hundreds of women told her their stories of rape, incest, domestic battery and genital cutting. It was clear that something widespread and dramatic needed to be done to stop the violence. A group of women in New York joined Eve and founded V-Day . . . a catalyst, a movement, a performance.

V-Day’s mission is simple. It demands that the violence must end. It proclaims Valentine’s Day as V-Day until the violence stops. When all women live in safety, no longer fearing violence or the threat of violence, then V-Day will be known as Victory Over Violence Day.
This year V-Day celebrates it's 10th Anniversary on Feb 14th. It exciting that it is still going strong, but sad under the same token.


Facing Resistance
"The struggle is the change." - Eve Ensler

When Eve Ensler first performed The Vagina Monologues in 1996, the word 'vagina' was met with controversy and discomfort. Radio stations refused to say vagina on air, TV stations ran entire segments on the play without mention of the word and newspapers hid under the safety of abbreviation. Eight years later the word vagina is spoken openly on TV and radio and printed freely in papers and magazines all over the world. At times, however, there remains a degree of controversy surrounding V-Day benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues and they occasionally receive resistance from within the communities and colleges where they are held. This resistance however, in a unique way creates the awareness that V-Day strives for with every production. The mission of V-Day is to end violence against women and girls, to break the silence, to make people aware of the violence that affects one in three women in the US and throughout the world. V-Day benefits that are attacked, whether for religious, social or political reasons and regardless of the outcome succeed in this mission. By generating media coverage and starting a worldwide dialogue, controversy and resistance to the V-Day benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues has proven to be part of the very change V-Day seeks.


Violence
Violence against women and girls is widespread - one woman in three will experience violence during her lifetime, most often at the hands of someone she knows.
violence glossary
In order to fully understand the depth, scope and viciousness of violence against women around the world, V-Day has compiled a glossary of the most common faces of violence.
anti-violence resources
Resources for people who are experience violence in their lives, or know someone who is experiencing violence
violence against women statistics
Numerous studies and reports have resulted in equally numerous statistics. Violence against women is a serious problem plaguing the world’s women and girls.


What is your part? V-Action List. You can help end violence against women and girls in your community. Simple concrete steps can change the world.

This goes along with my mission to replace Valentine's as a holiday. Thank goodness for options!

it's that time again

...time for me to kick cupid’s ass and rant...



Valentine's how I loathe thee. Let me count the ways:

First, you place emphasis on coupling. We live in a time when, more than ever before, women and men are able to coexist in perfect harmony--without one another! It is less necessary for women to couple as means of becoming economically whole. Fewer women are living as the parasites of men (thank you Simone De Beauvoir). Celebrating a holiday of couples ignores this amazing triumph. So I say boo!

Second, for people who do happily couple, I hate the idea of reserving one day a year to say "I care." Not good enough. If I am ever in a relationship where I look forward to that one special day of the year, I am so outta there!

Third, what is with the notion that the person you are romantic with trumps all other relationships in your life? I do not get it. I think it revolves around the idea that your partner becomes your life. Barf. Could there be a more disempowering notion? I believe I share a portion of my life with others. Granted the portion I share with my lover is more intimate, I cannot say that it is more important. This makes me think of the band Crass. If you have not heard them, you should. They have a song for almost anything you could be pissed off about. Anyway, on the album Penis Envy, there is a song call Smother Love and it says:
"Love don't make the world go round, it holds it right in place, Keeps us thinking love's too pure to see another face...Love's another sterile gift...That keeps us seeing just the one and others not existing." How this behavior can be considered well-rounded and healthy is what I want to know.

Fourth, do we not even realize that we're being suckered into buying empty tokens of expression and bullshit greeting cards? What are diamonds? What do they say? "Sweet-ums, I love you so much that I've gone into debt to exploit the earth of a precious resource and contribute to the stripping of areas in South Africa, all so I could give you this tiny, clear rock!" Spare me and my earth, DAMMIT!!!

Lastly, it's not the end of the world if you don't have plans on this most holy of days. I was at the MAC make-up counter scheduling a session for the release of their newest line. I told the sales person I was free on Feb 14th and she treated me like a leper. So, just because I have nothing going on for lover's day I must be sad and alone? She told me that after I got my make-up done I'd definitely be able to snag a fella. If I'm alone do I have to be unhappy? If I am coupled do I have to make plans on this day? Am I only desirable when I am made up? If I engage in the practice of making up, am I ipso facto heterosexual? The funny thing about this incident is that I quickly made dinner reservations for my boyfriend and myself for that day. How quickly I can conform when made to feel as though I am not performing my gender or sexuality sufficiently.

While this is not a comprehensive list of woes, it is a good start. Feel free to chime in with your reasons for the abolition of this holiday. We're making gains on Indian Killer day, I mean columbus day. Let's let Valentine's know it's not safe either!

Seattle: let's caucus...

...and primary?




I'm not exactly sure how this works, but it looks like King county is having both a caucus AND a primary. It sounds screwy to me, too. I guess it's Washington's way of saying. "OK. We'll concede and do something new, but that doesn't mean we have to stop doing the old thing, too."




Anyway, if you're curious about where and when to caucus go to King County Democrats. Also, information regarding the primary can be found here: King County Elections
Happy voting season!

should auld aquaintance be forgot

Yet another year has been swept under the rug and the time has come to wax retrospective, or wane if one should so fancy.
The past year paraded many disappointments under my nose. For instance, drinking red wine started giving me sniffles this year. This was a slap in the pants and not in the way I tend to enjoy. Quite the contrary.
What else? Oh, I've become a grump and that means everyone has managed to piss me off enough to make me not want to be friends any more. Luckily, I've managed by drinking heavily and venting to the people who aren't currently pissing me off. I foresee this biting me in the ass in the upcoming year. I blame it on stress-induced episodes and momentary lapses in judgement.
My ass has seen a lot more of my couch. subsequently, my pants are seeing a lot more of my ass. I blame it on stress-induced episodes and momentary lapses in judgement.
my grandma died. that really sucked. and the years of her being sick even more so.
i wasted time with yet another waste of a roommate. this one may have been the worst. she left fecal matter on the toilet seat on a regular basis--YUCK!!
the relief is that it's all over.
i discovered bloody marys, my mouth keeps my day planner from over flowing, i've caught up on a bunch of premium television, my grandma is finally resting, i have a good roommate for once who can drop a deuce without her ass exploding! and most importantly, I fell in love. this was quite a shock, because I was convinced that love was a cliche novelty that didn't go with any of my shoes. Fortunately, love brought shoes with him! my insecurity about relationships seems to be dissolved. and my disdain for man almost completely gone as well. this is a good feeling and Harpo is a good man.
So, what do I want from the upcoming year?
I want to be done with school (for now). and I will be in June (for now)!
I want to travel.
I want to lose weight and some moles.
I want more time for myself.
I want to tell people "no."
I want to be content.



the good news is, I think all of my wants for the year are attainable. I'll let you know how far I get on my list next year. for now, prospero ano y felicidad.

This Week in Print

As all of my adoring fans have probably noticed, I have fallen off the map. While I've been absent, I've still been obsessing over my blog hits. Apparently, I am a hit with the gay Parisiennes on the other side of the pond. who knew?
Anyway, I figured to make up for my absence that I would post what has been occupying my times. (because everyone loves to read college essays, right?) whether you do or don't will determine whether you read or won't. if for nothing else you can know what has been making me crazy lately.

The Dream is the Truth
Zora Neale Hurston’s novel, Their Eyes Were Watching God, is often described as one woman’s journey of self-discovery. While I believe this to be an accurate analysis overall, it is not sophisticated enough. By describing the journey of one’s self, Hurston is able to accomplish an immense depth of collective understanding. In this story of self-discovery there are outlines of gendered norms and societal restraints. Hurston employs vivid metaphors of pollen, entanglement and inner self to personify roles of agency. Through the use of these metaphors she is able to depict one woman’s path to discovering how norms and society play a role in shaping circumstances and how these circumstances shape people. Through Hurston’s words Janie embarks on a journey of self-discovery and through this discovery of Janie’s self there is also an unspoken understanding of women as a whole.
The first paragraph of Hurston’s novel addresses man’s agency in post-Civil War America. Hurston artfully describes the ambitions of men, “ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board” (Hurston 1). This implies that men have their dreams right in front of them. They can see them and they can aspire toward them. The following two sentences describe the difference between men. This sentence refers to those who are privileged, “for some they come in with the tide” (1). The reader has to decide for whom wishes come in with the tide. It is never explicitly stated but Hurston seems to allude to a racial and a class divides. The well-off are white and only need to wait for the tide to come in. Other men are not so lucky: “for others they sail forever on the horizon” (1). The horizon represents a condition of not having. The horizon is always in front of oneself and always just out of reach, the same way that tomorrow never comes. Wishes then become something that is dangled in front of these men. This implies an expectation inherent to masculinity. Until eventually the sun sets on their horizon. This lifetime of fruitless dreaming is what defines the life of men who are in want. The only similarity between these two men lies in the amount of inaction with regard to the perusal of dreams. We do not see men asserting themselves and having the fruits of their labor rewarded. Instead, we see some men waiting and other men watching. Either way, we are not seeing men pursuing and taking. Instead, they are simply acted upon with the changing whims of the tide. This negates a state of willful agency.
The second paragraph sets up the normative dichotomy between men and women. Men sit in wait for their dreams. Women, on the other hand, seem to take more initiative regarding their dreams, without actually executing power. Instead of steadfastly watching one’s dreams, women employ the art of selective remembrance. They figure out the situations that are out of their control. “Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember, and remember everything they don’t want to forget” (1). Their selective memory becomes their reality. This helps them deal with the hardship in life that is unfathomable and equally intolerable. They exercise agency when they can and forget about the instances they cannot. This act of willful amnesia makes an unbearable life bearable. They acknowledge they lack power in some situations and attempt to navigate around that the best they can. This creates a state of willfulness, without necessarily creating a space for agency. Understanding these first paragraphs helps one negotiate the constant strife between the sexes in this novel. Men and women are inextricably bound together. However, women’s acceptance of reality seems to undermine the men who are not satisfied with the dream being the truth.
There are many intersecting themes throughout the novel that flesh out the tension and ambiguity between men and women. Understanding love and marriage is one of these critical themes that helps navigate gender relations in this novel. Janie describes the union of love in the poetic language of birds and bees. She spends her time examining love and marriage while outstretched underneath the shade of a pear tree. She is witness to flies tumbling, interconnected, “marrying and giving in marriage” and, through a haze of pollination, she finds love and kisses Johnnie Taylor (11). We will see the critical themes of bound interconnectedness, pollen, inner self and issues of agency continue throughout the novel.
Pollen-induced haze and lying beneath the pear tree are also reoccurring symbols throughout the novel. They symbolize the haze of romanticism and Janie’s attempt to make the truth the dream. She wants the elements of marriage to be sweet, like when one sits under the pear tree to think. When her first marriage does not bring her this, she begins to stand near the gate and wait for something, like when she got her first kiss from Johnnie Taylor (23). It is at this point that she comes to realize marriage does not automatically bring love. Her dream had died, “so she became a woman” (24). Pollen imagery returns when she is describing the realization of her shattered dream of marriage with Joe. She is described as having “no more blossomy openings dusting pollen over her man.” She was no longer subdued by the haze of love and realized the truth was not the dream. The dream was merely a cloak for the man to wear (68). She forgot about love and molded her dream to fit the truth.
We see the shaping of dreams in relation to truth through Janie’s proximity to self, which is directly reflected by the circumstances of her life. We see this during her first marriage to Logan Killicks. Prior to her marriage, she believes that husbands and wives love each other without question. So she “went on inside to wait for love to begin” (21). The inside alluded to in this passage refers to Janie’s inner self. This is the first time we see her altering the proximity to herself. This is a continuing thread throughout the novel. We see it again in chapter 6 with Joe Starks. She is described as not being “petal-open” with him anymore. She came to this realization immediately after the first time he administered a beating upon her. Following the incident, she felt something fall “off the shelf inside her.” She looked inside herself and realized it was her dream of Joe. This is the point in the novel when she addresses that she has an inside and an outside and they are not meant to mix (68). If she can separate her emotions from herself, then she can make her dream of Joe the truth.
Janie’s final marriage is a turning point in the novel. Through Tea cake we see the culmination of imagery introduced to us so far. For instance, we get to see reference to Janie’s inside and outside again. Janie and Tea Cake had just left Eatonville and been married. Janie had brought along some safety money, which Tea Cake had stolen and lost while gambling. Tea Cake promised that he would win it back. This passage comes after his return. He has been injured in an altercation after winning back Janie’s money. Janie observes him drifting off to sleep. As she looks down upon him while he sleeps, she describes feeling a “soul-crushing love. So her soul crawled out from its hiding place” (122). It is interesting that she does not use the typical imagery of pollinated haze to describe a joyous love embrace or an ecstatic shiver (11). Instead the love she feel is one that crushes with its embrace. Therefore, her soul cannot gaily frolic out from its hiding place. Her soul, so crushed by the weight of her love for Tea Cake, can do nothing but crawl out from its hiding place. This suggests a lack of willfulness. Perhaps it was only the crushing that squeezed it out in the first place.
Through Tea Cake we see the reemergence of tangled bodies of relationships and are introduced to a complicated matter of intimacy. In chapter 15, Janie learns how jealousy feels. She believes that Tea Cake is cheating and confronts him with a blow. We then see them fighting from room to room. All the while, Janie is flailing and Tea Cake is holding her wrists in restraint. They continue, tangled, until their clothes are ripped away and Tea Cake hurls Janie onto the floor. In this passage we see and eroticism of their violent struggle. We also see a quagmire between want and volition. Saidiya Hartman examines this perplex in her work looking at racial justifications for the sexual subjugation slave women. In this violent encounter, the “language of passion expresses the essential conflation of force and feeling” (Hartman 79). However, during slave era there was a defined evil—the slave holder. In the climate of the novel, there is no defined evil outside of the slave system. Tea Cake holds her down until her resistance is melted away. They continue, tangled, doing with their bodies what cannot be expressed with words (Hurston 132). Is this a desired sexual encounter or is this seductive duress? We see the same conversation popping up in nineteenth century theory, through the work of Pamela Haag. It seems the conversation is unfinished through the unspoken norms in Tea Cake and Janie’s relationship.This portion of text illuminates the “evocatively ambiguous relations of power” between Janie and Tea Cake under which an imperfect choice was made (Haag 3). If she had continued to struggle, the reality would have been rape. The melting of resistance gives a space to Janie to refuse the existence of forced coercion. The sex they engage in is full of passion, not force, so Janie can make the dream of passionate love her truth.
The struggle continues. In this case it is man versus animal: Tea Cake versus a dog. This is during the hurricane that drives them to higher ground. After falling into flood water, Janie latches onto a cow to avoid drowning. There is a vicious dog on the cow and she is in danger of being bitten. Tea Cake dives into the water and rushes to her rescue. The dog was strong and Tea Cake was exhausted. Tea Cake was unable to kill the dog with one stab of the knife, but the dog was also unable to free himself from Tea Cake’s grip. They fought in a tangled mess, with the dog’s teeth in Tea Cake’s flesh and Tea Cake’s knife in the dog’s flesh. They are eventually separated when the dog dies, leaving Tea Cake with what will eventually become a mortal wound (Hurston 157).
The struggle of entanglement concludes when Tea Cake is consumed by rabies. He becomes as blood-thirsty as the dog that bit him. Inside of him was a need to kill. Unfortunately, Janie was the only living thing in his sight. She was forced to shoot him and as he crashed toward the floor, Janie lunged to catch him. As the two bodies came together, Tea Cake sinks his teeth into Janie’s flesh and they crash to the ground a tangled mess (175). Interconnectedness, as we see it in this novel, addresses the need of reliance upon another person. It is safety in numbers and it is circumstance binding people and things together, for better or worse.
The conclusion of the book echoes the metaphorical sentiments of the beginning. Janie says that she has been to the horizon and back. She has served to embody the dreams of Tea Cake and she sailed in just as the sun was setting on his horizon. In the end, “she pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net…so much of life in its meshes” (184). . She had so much life in her fish-net’s meshes, so she pulled it in. She was not watching the horizon, dotted with ships at a distance which forever hold the dreams of men. Instead, she remembered Tea Cake because he was everything that she did not want to forget. She beckoned her soul back inside for the last time. Then there was peace and the dream was the truth.
In conclusion, by analyzing pollen, entanglement and inner self we are witness to the distinct differences between men and women in regard to personal agency. Men wish upon ships at a distance; while women accept the facts. This puts men in the position of being blameless victims; while women seem to be more responsible for their hardship. These diverging perspectives cause ambiguity: who is the oppressor and who is the victim? The ambiguous state of blame serves to inform the relationships of tension between men and women throughout the novel. In the end, Janie discovers herself and she represents the journey required of women during that time period. Hurston’s words describe a tale of self-discovery, but what is left unsaid details the difficult road of collective discovery for women in the post-slave era.

I'm hoping this maintains or boosts my GPA as opposed to bring it down. This class has been the most challenging for me in regard to meeting my professor's expectations. Overall, I have good feelings about it.

In other news, I auditioned for a UW production...
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES!!!
I'll find out in the next day or two whether I get a part or not. I actually don't know whether I have the time for the production in my schedule next quarter. So, if I do get a part, I'm hoping I don't get three. During the audition, they asked me to talk about my vagina to see if I would get squeamish. I think what I said made them blush. I suppose this could be good or bad. Either I'm just bold enough or a bit too bold. Anyway, it will work out either way. I mostly just wanted to remember how fun it is to audition for a play again.
Good night and Happy Festivus!

the day apprehensive to begin

The morning after can be such a drag...
I am a service learning tutor for the greatest class in the world--Psycho Biology of Women. However, I had a really hard time getting people scheduled for the required meetings and ended up spreading myself too thin.
My first meeting was scheduled for 8AM on Monday morning. My plan was to be up by 6am to make sure I arrived on time or early. However, the crazy screaming lady woke me up around 4am and I was not able to fall back asleep until after 5am. Needless to say, I did not wake up on time. I got out of bed at 7am and got ready as fast as my sleep-deprived bones would allow (which was not very fast at all, especially considering I needed a shower).
I arrived "punctually" at 8:15am. WHOOPS! the meeting went well, but I felt a bit off my game. Anyway, when the meeting was over I needed to hike over to Bartell Drugs. In my early-morning haze, I forgot to bring Aleve. After surrendering my money, I popped three pretty little pills into my mouth and caught the bus to Planned Parenthood.
My appointment was at 10:15am and I got there at 9:45am. In my mind that erased being late to my first appointment of the day. I had to sign some forms and pee in a cup. Why don't places supply funnels? I can't tell you how much I love getting urine on my hands so early in the morning!
Shortly after I peed on myself, a man took me into an exam room to get the ball rolling. I was a little worried that he might be the one doing the procedure. I couldn't imagine they have men prodding uteri at Planned Parenthood. The place that is supposed to be by women for women. i was panicked nonetheless. Also, the music was terrible. I imagined a male clinician tunnelling through my cervix to the soulful styling of Roxette. It was at this moment of being consumed by doubt that I found out they would need to poke my finger and get blood out of it. If I had known about the finger poking, I may not have come in. He tried to tell my that it's not that bad and not even really a needle. None of that helped. I cried like a baby and made him nervous that I would not be able to handle an hour of vaginal penetration. Clearly, he knows me not. I can handle most anything as long as needles and my blood are not involved.
After I stopped sobbing, he told me 20-year veteran, Consuelo, and a 3rd year resident would be performing the procedure. I sighed the biggest sigh of relief.
The two came in and the resident got to work while Consuelo kept me comfortable. They showed me my shiny, new Paraguard IUD. I announced that I would name her Penny. We all agreed that was an appropriate name, because she is tiny and copper. All in all, the procedure went smooth. However, a slight complication arose due to the position of my uterus. Apparently, it tips forward. I never knew that. Conveniently, it is more difficult to get a copper apparatus into a uterus that tips forward. I must say that I was not made too uncomfortable by this added obstacle. There was some cramping, but I was able to breathe through it.
After some struggle she asked Consuelo to take over. I was relieved, because the cramping was beginning to increase and I could tell that I would soon be in pain. Consuelo went in and did some maneuvering. I was about to say ouch, because I felt a surge of discomfort. However, this discomfort was over before the words came to my lips and just then she announced that she'd gotten it. Penny was in!
After that, I had to get back to school and have 3 more meetings. I decided I deserved Pho. Slim Jeans also decided I deserved wine and muscle relaxers.
gawd bless Slim Jeans!

the solitude of the traveling blouse

This little blouse had quite the day yesterday. She awoke to being stuffed into a bag. Then ripped out and put back in repeatedly, as her careless owner searched for countless items necessary for the daily function of life. Her owner left the apartment in a blur and as her wheels hit the pavement she realized why--she had left her glasses in the apartment. The action plan? Go inside and get them. The blouse and her owner rounded the back, grabbed the glasses, and rode off to work. Or so her owner thought...
when the owner--we'll call her me--when i got to the coffee shop, the shirt was not there. how curious. anyway, i had to wear the shirt of a man 3 times my size, since tank tops are against dress code. it was quite the sight i am sure. I worked in that oversize shirt all day and when I arrived at home, I looked everywhere. Unfortunately, ms. blousey could not be found. So, i did what any logical person would do and i put away my clean clothes. Still no sign of my beloved. all i could do was think of her and how scared she must be. all this distraction may have been a good thing, because the night before was a little bumpy and full of missing my lover. this blouse search kept my mind busy and got me through the night. when i awoke the next morning, she was the 1st thing i thought of. i knew i was in the rear of the apartment and came up the rear stairwell. it was just then that it occurred to me to trace my steps.
i walked out of my apartment toward the door to the stairwell. I opened the door and made my way to the exit. As a side note, it is a good thing i look at my feet when i walk. Otherwise, I may not have been reunited with my sweetheart. She was in a ball on top of the stairs.
big sigh of relief.
she is resting now. she had quite an eventful day yesterday.

happy days

Once upon a time:







a man and a woman.















decided they couldn't imagine making anyone else's life miserable but each other's. they vowed to care and to hold in sickness and in health and tied the knot.




That was 26 years ago to the day. Which makes today my parent's 26th wedding anniversary!
26 years ago on this day: my mom had a melt down, my dad came through at the last possible second, and i had a poopy diaper.
they were married in las vegas and not much has changed since that day except that they have two more rug rats than they did 26 years prior. Here are the three of us caught in the act of being us.

















i think we've got a good thing going here and i'm glad that i got to be around to celebrate it!
Happy Days to my parents and to us, their bratty babies!


here's to a marriage that never jumps the shark!

the golden state: a play in three acts

This past weekend I was in California to visit family. For the most part, I did just that. However, one of the days I was there I tore away from sitting on the sofa while grandpa grumpy pants blasted Fox News. While away, I hung out with friends formerly from the valley of the sun and now just from the valley.

LIST OF CHARACTERS:
Hollywood PA, A young woman trying to make it in Hollywood as a personal assistant.
Disappearer, formerly the guitarist for the band, the myth and the legend: The Ponies. Currently, a library hand, hanging onto his glory days and reading far too many books.
me as myself.
ACTION:
Act I (This scene was devoted to setting up the characters and the plot. What had the three been up to? What secrets are they hiding.)
The evening began in Glendale at la casa de san marchi. The three had pizza, ate salad, watched a Ponies Documentary, and ate many roasted peas. Hollywood PA discussed her stint as a barista. Disappearer described the rise and fall of the Ponies empire. Me as myself talked about all the things you people are probably tired of hearing about. It was all very nice, I'm sure. When the three had said all there was to say, they decided to venture out of the casa.
Act II (getting some sugar)
The three climbed aboard their chariot, Sportacus, and set out on a journey far away from the place they had spent the last few hours of their existence together. Their destination: east Hollywood AKA the other side of Melrose. This area happened to be the bike district and me as myself was very tempted to go into one of the many shops and fondle all the beautiful bikes that would inevitably be too big. However, tonight was not the night for bi-wheeled pipe dreams. Besides, there were more important things at hand. The current mission was getting ice cream and i wasn't going to let a mission fail, not on my watch. The frozen lactose location: Scoops, tucked away in a cute area off of Melrose - filled with bike-shop co-ops and city college kids.
This place is the SHIT! Everyday they churn up unorthodox flavors of ice cream and keep the masses quite happy. The three were among the masses this very evening; partaking in hand-scoopes delicacies such as peanut butter, pistachio & orange water, and a madara concoction. Best ice cream ever thought of. Lessons learned: ice cream is heaven sent and Los Feliz is not pronounced (Fay-Lease), but instead (Fee-Lis)--these are among life's most important lessons. This part of the evening was magical, but it couldn't last forever no matter how hard the three protagonists tried. It was time to climb aboard Sportacus again and see where the evening would take them.
Act III (Hollywood ending)
The mood was that the evening was nearing an end. The protagonists drove around Fairfax, viewed the never-ending line at Pinks, and drove aimlessly around the vicinity of .
Just then, the phone rang (like it did about 300 times before that). But this time was different. This time it was the disappearer's Bakersfield friends calling us to tell us about . This was an interesting party, to say the least. Outside the party house was a group of wily, down-to-earth kids from Bakersfield. They were a riot! On the inside was a contingent of bitchy Armenian girls who were clearly uninterested in us. In the end, they killed the mood of the evening. The momentum of the protagonists was lost and they were forced to disband. Even though the end of the night was a bit sour, each one walked away knowing a little bit more about themselves. What they found out is that each one of them is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
(We see me as myself walking across the football field as she thrusts her fist into the air in a silent cheer and freezes there.)

slow and steady vs. fast and furious

Well, I did it. I went through the postpartum doula training at the Seattle Midwifery School. Typically, the program is broken up over two weekends. However, I currently work in retail and it is difficult to get two weekends in a row off. So, when I saw that they offered a 4-day block in August, I jumped for it.
In hindsight, there is probably a reason they typically break it up. Ahhh, hindsight. Anyway, they were 4 information-packed days. By the end of it, I was pooped!
Now, I am well on my way to doula certification. If anyone knows someone that wants a doula and would like to help me achieve this, they can have me free for one week! And if they need me longer than a week, my rates will be relatively low until I have acquired my certification.
keep your ears to the ground, soldiers.

thanks,
be well, do good work, and keep in touch.