Thursday, February 14, 2008

Ta Da

Happy V-Day, Singles Awareness Day, Happy "anything but Valentine's" day
Today is a bright, sunny day. Not so damn cold as we've seen in these parts as of late. Tomorrow is the beginning of a long weekend of doing nothing with my lover Harpo. I am hoping it also marks the end of peak flow season for the month. Because when we're not busy doing nothing, I want us to be busy doing it. ha ha.
Anyway, we're going on a secret trip. so, I will not disclose any details for fear that this is the one time Harpo reads my blog.
I'm going to import a list from last year, because I feel the topic is timeless. "Better ways to dedicate your time than with the empty tokens of Valentine's Day"
My suggestions include:
1. name a pinata after an ex-partner. the difference between the pinata and your ex is that there is actually sweetness inside a pinata.
2. for every nice thing you say to a single person, say 5 not-so-nice things to that obnoxious couple ahead of you in line for [insert errand here]. you know who they are: "no i love you more, schmoopy." (or just go out of your way to do something really nice. like when you're buying your local homeless-run newspaper, like i know you were already planning on doing anyway, give them an extra dollar.)
3. fly a kite and/or catch raindrops on your tongue (these are climate-based suggestions).
4. get a foot and/or hand massage. whether you're a man or a woman, your hands and feet work hard and deserve to be treated.
5. replace one green vegetable in your meals with dessert all day, and if you were already planning on eating dessert--double dessert!!
6. just get rid of that box of letters already! (oh, you certainly do know what I'm talking about! ::snap, snap::)
7. part your hair on the opposite side, so you can see how you look to other people.
8. learn the alphabet in a foreign language (or learn the alphabet of your native tongue)
9. try a new food you always thought you would hate, but this time do it pretending you've always thought you'd love it. (this is especially good for people IN relationships to do w/o their significant other. this is good because there isn't anyone there to say "i knew you'd like it!" it can be your little secret).
10. get ridiculously dressed up and go to the grocery store. you'll feel like a celebrity--everyone will stop and look at you.

Just an aside, I parted my hair on the opposite side. I completely forgot it was on my list. Isn't that just a total gas?