Tuesday, August 28, 2007

the golden state: a play in three acts


This past weekend I was in California to visit family. For the most part, I did just that. However, one of the days I was there I tore away from sitting on the sofa while grandpa grumpy pants blasted Fox News. While away, I hung out with friends formerly from the valley of the sun and now just from the valley.

LIST OF CHARACTERS:
Hollywood PA, A young woman trying to make it in Hollywood as a personal assistant.
Disappearer, formerly the guitarist for the band, the myth and the legend: The Ponies. Currently, a library hand, hanging onto his glory days and reading far too many books.
me as myself.
ACTION:
Act I (This scene was devoted to setting up the characters and the plot. What had the three been up to? What secrets are they hiding.)
The evening began in Glendale at la casa de san marchi. The three had pizza, ate salad, watched a Ponies Documentary, and ate many roasted peas. Hollywood PA discussed her stint as a barista. Disappearer described the rise and fall of the Ponies empire. Me as myself talked about all the things you people are probably tired of hearing about. It was all very nice, I'm sure. When the three had said all there was to say, they decided to venture out of the casa.
Act II (getting some sugar)
The three climbed aboard their chariot, Sportacus, and set out on a journey far away from the place they had spent the last few hours of their existence together. Their destination: east Hollywood AKA the other side of Melrose. This area happened to be the bike district and me as myself was very tempted to go into one of the many shops and fondle all the beautiful bikes that would inevitably be too big. However, tonight was not the night for bi-wheeled pipe dreams. Besides, there were more important things at hand. The current mission was getting ice cream and i wasn't going to let a mission fail, not on my watch. The frozen lactose location: Scoops, tucked away in a cute area off of Melrose - filled with bike-shop co-ops and city college kids.
This place is the SHIT! Everyday they churn up unorthodox flavors of ice cream and keep the masses quite happy. The three were among the masses this very evening; partaking in hand-scoopes delicacies such as peanut butter, pistachio & orange water, and a madara concoction. Best ice cream ever thought of. Lessons learned: ice cream is heaven sent and Los Feliz is not pronounced (Fay-Lease), but instead (Fee-Lis)--these are among life's most important lessons. This part of the evening was magical, but it couldn't last forever no matter how hard the three protagonists tried. It was time to climb aboard Sportacus again and see where the evening would take them.
Act III (Hollywood ending)
The mood was that the evening was nearing an end. The protagonists drove around Fairfax, viewed the never-ending line at Pinks, and drove aimlessly around the vicinity of .
Just then, the phone rang (like it did about 300 times before that). But this time was different. This time it was the disappearer's Bakersfield friends calling us to tell us about . This was an interesting party, to say the least. Outside the party house was a group of wily, down-to-earth kids from Bakersfield. They were a riot! On the inside was a contingent of bitchy Armenian girls who were clearly uninterested in us. In the end, they killed the mood of the evening. The momentum of the protagonists was lost and they were forced to disband. Even though the end of the night was a bit sour, each one walked away knowing a little bit more about themselves. What they found out is that each one of them is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.
(We see me as myself walking across the football field as she thrusts her fist into the air in a silent cheer and freezes there.)