Tuesday, February 13, 2007

An Anti-Valentine's Dissertation

the worst day ever, guess which one? V-day, 2001.
I was on the verge of hair catastrophe--literal catastrophe! like I am so not even kidding. I could go into details, but I am assuming you care even less to hear about it than I care to tell you about it. at any rate, the only answer was surgery. it had to come off. keep in mind, I hadn't had short hair since I was 10 and let my drunk uncle give me a "trim." short hair was a devastating idea for me, but I had to face it. when they wheeled me into the recovery room and let me look at myself, I was devastated.
I needed to self medicate, so I went to the mall. I picked out my v-day outfit: cute black, cap sleeve shirt with an even cuter red, knee-length skirt. Still not hyped on the hair. So, I did what any rational gal in my position would do, I bought a red sparkly headband. yay!
well, the night was upon me and it was seriously cold. My thought was pants! pants under skirts were way in style back then. So, I put black pants under my red skirt. way cute! next challenge to conquer--flippy faux sideburns. my hair had been long for so long, I’d forgotten that it was curly. the flippies would not be subdued, so I stuck the headband on and convinced myself of my undying cuteness.
the doood comes over--we'll call him bahama-vention.
guess what the 1st thing he said was? I’ll give you a hint. it wasn't happy valentine's day. not I love you. not even hello. it was: "what's wrong with your hair?" on the way to the restaurant, Los Dos Molinos, he made a comment about my outfit being embarrassing and some other ass facey comment. I had expectations of a good evening. included in those expectations was not the idea that I’d be crying before I set my foot on pavement. so, I told him we could have a nice meal or he could continue to be an asshole. he opted for nice dinner.
while we waited for a table a handful of random strangers came up to me and complimented me for everything bahama-vention had insulted me for. it was sweet bliss. I grinned to myself. a couple weeks later, I went on a date with an ex-boyfriend and bahama-vention and I broke up.
From that day forward I vowed to never celebrate v-day again and I’m sticking to it.
so, now let's nevermind that I am having dinner with a man that evening. it is not for v-day. in fact it is only because we're both going out of town on Thursday.
So don't give me no crap!!