lights, camera, action!

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. Looking them up is cheating, please don't.

Can you guess mine?
1. "I'm ready to quit this dump, I really am. Ray won't let me wear my glasses on stage, then Ian gets pissed because I can't do any of the tricks, I mean I'm only legally blind. I could understand if I wanted to wear my glasses on my tits, but nobody in this dump is looking at my face anyway." Desperately Seeking Susan. Go Kat Go!
2. "Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?" the big lebowski. Cousin Coquette
3. "Sometimes there's things more important than pit beef."
4. "Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?" Being John Malkovich Martine
5. "Look out the window. And doesn't this remind you of when you were in the boat, and then later than night, you were lying, looking up at the ceiling, and the water in your head was not dissimilar from the landscape, and you think to yourself, 'Why is it that the landscape is moving, but the boat is still?'"
6. "Only grown-up men are scared of women."
7. "You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn't been very rich, I might have been a really great man."
8. "Look. They drummed you right outta Hollywood! So ya come crawlin' back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope."
9. "What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss."
10. "I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!'"Juno Kat again

The Unanswered Movies
3. Pecker
5. Dead Man
6. The Sound of Music
7. Citizen Kane
8. Valley of the Dolls
9. No Country for Old Men

Ta Da

Happy V-Day, Singles Awareness Day, Happy "anything but Valentine's" day
Today is a bright, sunny day. Not so damn cold as we've seen in these parts as of late. Tomorrow is the beginning of a long weekend of doing nothing with my lover Harpo. I am hoping it also marks the end of peak flow season for the month. Because when we're not busy doing nothing, I want us to be busy doing it. ha ha.
Anyway, we're going on a secret trip. so, I will not disclose any details for fear that this is the one time Harpo reads my blog.
I'm going to import a list from last year, because I feel the topic is timeless. "Better ways to dedicate your time than with the empty tokens of Valentine's Day"
My suggestions include:
1. name a pinata after an ex-partner. the difference between the pinata and your ex is that there is actually sweetness inside a pinata.
2. for every nice thing you say to a single person, say 5 not-so-nice things to that obnoxious couple ahead of you in line for [insert errand here]. you know who they are: "no i love you more, schmoopy." (or just go out of your way to do something really nice. like when you're buying your local homeless-run newspaper, like i know you were already planning on doing anyway, give them an extra dollar.)
3. fly a kite and/or catch raindrops on your tongue (these are climate-based suggestions).
4. get a foot and/or hand massage. whether you're a man or a woman, your hands and feet work hard and deserve to be treated.
5. replace one green vegetable in your meals with dessert all day, and if you were already planning on eating dessert--double dessert!!
6. just get rid of that box of letters already! (oh, you certainly do know what I'm talking about! ::snap, snap::)
7. part your hair on the opposite side, so you can see how you look to other people.
8. learn the alphabet in a foreign language (or learn the alphabet of your native tongue)
9. try a new food you always thought you would hate, but this time do it pretending you've always thought you'd love it. (this is especially good for people IN relationships to do w/o their significant other. this is good because there isn't anyone there to say "i knew you'd like it!" it can be your little secret).
10. get ridiculously dressed up and go to the grocery store. you'll feel like a celebrity--everyone will stop and look at you.

Just an aside, I parted my hair on the opposite side. I completely forgot it was on my list. Isn't that just a total gas?

V-day

I mentioned Vday in my previous post and realized that some people might not be familiar with it. If this is the case, you are on the wrong blog. For the sake of information dissemination here is the run down.

Mission:
V-Day is an organized response against violence toward women.
V-Day is a vision: We see a world where women live safely and freely.
V-Day is a demand: Rape, incest, battery, genital mutilation and sexual slavery must end now.
V-Day is a spirit: We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities.
V-Day is a catalyst: By raising money and consciousness, it will unify and strengthen existing anti-violence efforts. Triggering far-reaching awareness, it will lay the groundwork for new educational, protective, and legislative endeavors throughout the world.
V-Day is a process: We will work as long as it takes. We will not stop until the violence stops.
V-Day is a day. We proclaim Valentine's Day as V-Day, to celebrate women and end the violence.


History
V-Day was born in 1998 as an outgrowth of Eve Ensler's Obie-Award winning play, "The Vagina Monologues." As Eve performed the piece in small towns and large cities all around the world, she saw and heard first hand the destructive personal, social, political and economic consequences violence against women has for many nations.

Hundreds of women told her their stories of rape, incest, domestic battery and genital cutting. It was clear that something widespread and dramatic needed to be done to stop the violence. A group of women in New York joined Eve and founded V-Day . . . a catalyst, a movement, a performance.

V-Day’s mission is simple. It demands that the violence must end. It proclaims Valentine’s Day as V-Day until the violence stops. When all women live in safety, no longer fearing violence or the threat of violence, then V-Day will be known as Victory Over Violence Day.
This year V-Day celebrates it's 10th Anniversary on Feb 14th. It exciting that it is still going strong, but sad under the same token.


Facing Resistance
"The struggle is the change." - Eve Ensler

When Eve Ensler first performed The Vagina Monologues in 1996, the word 'vagina' was met with controversy and discomfort. Radio stations refused to say vagina on air, TV stations ran entire segments on the play without mention of the word and newspapers hid under the safety of abbreviation. Eight years later the word vagina is spoken openly on TV and radio and printed freely in papers and magazines all over the world. At times, however, there remains a degree of controversy surrounding V-Day benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues and they occasionally receive resistance from within the communities and colleges where they are held. This resistance however, in a unique way creates the awareness that V-Day strives for with every production. The mission of V-Day is to end violence against women and girls, to break the silence, to make people aware of the violence that affects one in three women in the US and throughout the world. V-Day benefits that are attacked, whether for religious, social or political reasons and regardless of the outcome succeed in this mission. By generating media coverage and starting a worldwide dialogue, controversy and resistance to the V-Day benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues has proven to be part of the very change V-Day seeks.


Violence
Violence against women and girls is widespread - one woman in three will experience violence during her lifetime, most often at the hands of someone she knows.
violence glossary
In order to fully understand the depth, scope and viciousness of violence against women around the world, V-Day has compiled a glossary of the most common faces of violence.
anti-violence resources
Resources for people who are experience violence in their lives, or know someone who is experiencing violence
violence against women statistics
Numerous studies and reports have resulted in equally numerous statistics. Violence against women is a serious problem plaguing the world’s women and girls.


What is your part? V-Action List. You can help end violence against women and girls in your community. Simple concrete steps can change the world.

This goes along with my mission to replace Valentine's as a holiday. Thank goodness for options!

What is...?

What is feminism to me?
Feminism is a commitment to the deconstruction of gendered norms which are produced and are oppressive in function. De Beauvoir echoed this sentiment when she said, “one is not born, but rather becomes a woman.” She challenged the accepted approach of Platonic essentialism, by suggesting that there is no inherent essence of woman; there is only the construction of norms and beliefs which determine her essence. We attach meaning to woman; being the owner of a vagina makes her nurturer, caregiver, other. It is the meaning attached to woman that makes her recognizable as such and treatment is prescribed according to this conscription. Since the ritual of gender is what reifies men and women, feminism needs to be dedicated to the troubling of these rituals.

What is liberal feminism?
Liberal feminism is derived from the philosophy of classical liberalism, which lays emphasis on the idea of individual freedom; we are individuals before we are gendered, classed, etc… Women’s freedom, or equality to men, is accessed through legal reform and is understood in negative terms, to be free from boundaries and obstacles. As a Liberal Feminist, J.S. Mill challenged the “might makes right” notion that designates women as inherently unequal to men. He argued that while women appear to consent to their condition, their lack of protest is just evidence that women have been adequately trained in the art and practice of submission. The arguments Mill made against the subordination of women include a moral argument, the subjection of women is inherently wrong; a modernist argument, subjection looks too similar to a caste system to keep up with the tenets of progress; and a utilitarian argument, holding back half of the population impedes the advancement of civilization. His solution was to remove the obstacles women faced on the road to freedom by granting them the right to vote and opening labor markets and education to female competition.

What is Marxist feminism?
Marxist feminists, such as Kollontai, believed that a person is first a member of a class and women’s equality to men will be achieved through a gender-informed revolution from capitalism to communism. Kollontai was especially concerned with the working woman and her access to motherhood. Propagation is necessary for the livelihood of a nation; it should not be commodified in the form of luxury. She argued that government should fund the move of reproductive labor from to home into the world; which would grant women the freedom of have leisure time. She also believed that child-rearing should be a community event. According to Kollontai, these actions would relieve woman of her triple burden and grant her access to the modern promise of freedom.

What is existential feminism?
Existential feminism is concerned with the dichotomies of self/other, transcendence/immanence, and subject/object. Woman is mythologized in ambiguity as the mantis and the dutiful wife, the virgin and the whore, everything and nothing. According to De Beauvoir, the construction of the woman myth defines and constricts her to the margins; she is the other, the immanent, and the object. De Beauvoir’s undertaking was to dispute the Platonic idea that there is something that is essentially “woman” which determines her destiny, by arguing that instead the treatment woman endures creates the essence that is she. She is not born a woman; it is her existence and the rituals of gender that create her as such. According to De Beauvoir, the world will know when woman is liberated because she will have attained grand stages for transcendence, like man and his Super Bowl.

What to all three have in common?
Liberal, Marxist, and existential feminism are all concerned with securing woman’s right to enjoy the modern promise of freedom. The difference lies in how they define this concept of freedom. As a liberal feminist, J.S. Mill adopted a negative construction of freedom; power is located in the law and state and both need to facilitate the removal of obstacles women face in order to attain freedom. On the other hand, Marxist and existential feminists view freedom in more positive terms; freedom is not found in the absence of obstacles, but instead in the availability of options. For example, Kollontai would argue for “material availability,” or the access to resources. De Beauvoir would prescribe a revolution of cultural mandates, which reify men and women, in order to grant women equal access to the act of transcending immanence, or exceeding essence.


p.s. VDay is hot, but Valentine's day can suck it!

V-Day Q&A

Q: What are the most common Valentine's Day gifts?

Chocolate:
Let's look at Ghana and Côte d'Ivoire. West Africa is the number one cocoa producing location in the world. The production of cocoa is a very arduous process. Currently, cocoa-producing nations get paid roughly a dollar per pound. However, cocoa distributors charge around $17/lb. Quite a pricing disparity. This is made more complicated by the IMF's involvement through structural adjustment policies. Both of the top cocoa-producing countries have loans through the IMF. What happens when a country is indebted, is that the IMF examines their economic structure. This usually means subsistence crops meant to feed communities are cut or eliminated. Then funding is cut for social services. This then attracts foreign investment dollars. Great, right? Or wait, maybe not. The money people are making from cocoa production, which is not much, is earmarked to repay loans. There are fewer resources for subsistence and money-making that way. There are few or no social service supports remaining in tact. As well, the money flowing from foreign investments only benefits those dollars' countries of origin. So, while Côte d'Ivoire and Ghana are top-producing nations, they are likely to get stuck in a cycle of extreme poverty with few options. Higglers are beginning to change the bleak economic outlook, but it may not be enough.
So, give the gift of global economic exploitation with chocolates!

Stuffed animals:
Maybe I'm a humbug, but I cannot see a reason to give the gift of a stuffed animal. Anyone care to help me out? They are great for children and babies. They bring great joy to little ones who hopefully bring joy to others. But giving the gift of a stuffed bear to a grown person seems to be consistent with a trend of infantilization. As well as poor use of resources and the global assembly line. If I am going to be guilty of exploiting the labor of underpaid women, I do not want it to be for an animal that gets shoved in the closet to be forgotten forever.
This year give the gift of exploited wage labor. Look at my snuggly stuffed Maquilladora worker!

Jewelry:
I happen to be of the school of thought that does not believe every kiss begins with "Kay." Why are we ripping rocks out of the ground for vanity's sake? Mining is one of the planet's leading polluters, and is threatening some of the world's most ecologically fragile regions. The environmental impact from diamond mining is much like any other open pit mine, the problems stem from waste disposal,leeching and ground water pollution. Once vegetation and soil is stripped away, salts, irons and other nutrients are not naturally filtered as water seeps into the ground. This allows organisms, nutrients, plus oil and other machine related waste, to enter ground water. Species and habitat loss would change dramatically from site to site and continent to continent, but would always be present.
This year, give the gift of contaminated drinking water! I only drink coke, anyway.

Above all else, enjoy your consumer holiday! Not doing so would be short-sided.

it's that time again

...time for me to kick cupid’s ass and rant...



Valentine's how I loathe thee. Let me count the ways:

First, you place emphasis on coupling. We live in a time when, more than ever before, women and men are able to coexist in perfect harmony--without one another! It is less necessary for women to couple as means of becoming economically whole. Fewer women are living as the parasites of men (thank you Simone De Beauvoir). Celebrating a holiday of couples ignores this amazing triumph. So I say boo!

Second, for people who do happily couple, I hate the idea of reserving one day a year to say "I care." Not good enough. If I am ever in a relationship where I look forward to that one special day of the year, I am so outta there!

Third, what is with the notion that the person you are romantic with trumps all other relationships in your life? I do not get it. I think it revolves around the idea that your partner becomes your life. Barf. Could there be a more disempowering notion? I believe I share a portion of my life with others. Granted the portion I share with my lover is more intimate, I cannot say that it is more important. This makes me think of the band Crass. If you have not heard them, you should. They have a song for almost anything you could be pissed off about. Anyway, on the album Penis Envy, there is a song call Smother Love and it says:
"Love don't make the world go round, it holds it right in place, Keeps us thinking love's too pure to see another face...Love's another sterile gift...That keeps us seeing just the one and others not existing." How this behavior can be considered well-rounded and healthy is what I want to know.

Fourth, do we not even realize that we're being suckered into buying empty tokens of expression and bullshit greeting cards? What are diamonds? What do they say? "Sweet-ums, I love you so much that I've gone into debt to exploit the earth of a precious resource and contribute to the stripping of areas in South Africa, all so I could give you this tiny, clear rock!" Spare me and my earth, DAMMIT!!!

Lastly, it's not the end of the world if you don't have plans on this most holy of days. I was at the MAC make-up counter scheduling a session for the release of their newest line. I told the sales person I was free on Feb 14th and she treated me like a leper. So, just because I have nothing going on for lover's day I must be sad and alone? She told me that after I got my make-up done I'd definitely be able to snag a fella. If I'm alone do I have to be unhappy? If I am coupled do I have to make plans on this day? Am I only desirable when I am made up? If I engage in the practice of making up, am I ipso facto heterosexual? The funny thing about this incident is that I quickly made dinner reservations for my boyfriend and myself for that day. How quickly I can conform when made to feel as though I am not performing my gender or sexuality sufficiently.

While this is not a comprehensive list of woes, it is a good start. Feel free to chime in with your reasons for the abolition of this holiday. We're making gains on Indian Killer day, I mean columbus day. Let's let Valentine's know it's not safe either!

why feminism?

Recently, feminism has been regarded with the same affinity as labor unions and tax levies. The question often asked is, “what has it done for me lately?” Is the job done? Have Third Wave feminists been left with nothing to do but flounder? Let's look at some feminist theories and respective goals, shall we?
Liberal Feminists are concerned with legal recourse to secure equity with men. As a result, a huge sticking point for this group is voting rights. Everywhere men can vote women can as well, except Kuwait.
However, most countries granted men the vote prior to endowing women with full rights as citizens, except Denmark.
Men in these countries had time to solidify themselves in the notion that women are unfit for politics and women also had time to internalize the same sentiment. In the United States, the vote was granted to men as citizens in 1870 and women in 1920. This gives men a fifty-year leg up on women in the political arena. Gendered voting gaps have the result of affecting the number of women contributing to government action. In Denmark, over 25% of elected officials are women. In America, only 5-14% of women participate in elected government positions. Therefore, Feminist-driven voter education is necessary to level the political playing field in countries with historically large gender gaps in voting rights.

Marxist feminists are concerned with capitalism. According to their world view, capitalism creates and perpetuates economic inequality. In this system, women and men are stratified and valued disproportionately to their worth as people. Ipso facto capitalism is the root cause of women's economic disempowerment. Globally, 70% of those in poverty are women. This is not random, this is Neo-Liberalism. When countries are in debt, they may be eligible to take out loans from the International Monetary Fund (IMF). As terms to the loan the IMF scrutinizes the country’s economic structure and assigns SAPs in order to appeal to foreign investment dollars. Typically, this means cuts in social and health services, which are disproportionately patronized by women. If families farm, then subsistence crops must be partially, if not completely, replaced with cash crops. Subsistence farming is the primary source of income for most women in these areas. With diminished income and no outlet for governmental support women, whose burden it is to tend to the needs of the household, are forced to find other means of income. Feminist mobilization is necessary to get women on the Board. This will give women the opportunity to shape IMF policy which affects their lives most.

According to Existential thought, the goal of humanity is to take control of the present and shape the future. Existential Feminists seek to explain and undo the reasons women are impeded from achieving selfhood and ultimate autonomy. Women’s reliance upon men is a crucial element in hindering their realization of autonomy, especially considering the age at which women and men come to this union. It is common practice, among many culture, for parents to make decisions and care for their offspring until said offspring reaches the age of maturity. Some cultures include the selecting of life mates for their young daughters under this paternal umbrella. In Niger 70% of girls and 4% of boys get married between the ages 15-19 years old. In much of the world 16-25% of girls are getting married before 19. This means that girls, who are used to having decisions made by their guardians, are handed over to men, who will take over that duty, at an elevated rate in much of the world. Only in industrialized countries is the instance of this is below 5%. When women lack self-determination, autonomy becomes impossible. Feminists, especially those apart from industrialized nations, need to expand cultural awareness to include a vision of women marrying on their own terms, if they marry at all.

The goal of Feminism is to work itself out of a job. It looks like we're still accepting applications.


data came from:
Seager, Joni. The Penguin Atlas of Women in the World. New York: Penguin Group, 2003.

i like my coffe like my social justice...

strong and black.

i've just started volunteering for grassroots organization, Justice Works!

Mission UNDOING RACISM IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM AS EXPERIENCED BY AFRICAN AMERICANS.

Vision
TO PROVIDE A SAFE, AFFIRMING AND UNIQUE COMMUNITY WHEREBY AFRICAN AMERICANS, WITH THE SUPPORT OF THEIR ALLIES, USE SELF-DETERMINATION TO SOLVE PROBLEMS ENCOUNTERED WITH OR CREATED BY THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM.

Areas of Focus
COURT SYSTEM
PRISON SYSTEM
PRISONER RE-ENTRY

Today was orientation. We went through the basic ins and outs. The organization is situated in a house on MLK and Union. Everyone there was so friendly. They made sure we had coffee and tried to tempt us with cookies. I abstained.

It looks like I'll be a foot soldier for clemency. Trying to undo the travesty we call the 13th Amendment.



p.s. this is the 1st day in awhile that I rode my bike. hooray!

Seattle: let's caucus...

...and primary?




I'm not exactly sure how this works, but it looks like King county is having both a caucus AND a primary. It sounds screwy to me, too. I guess it's Washington's way of saying. "OK. We'll concede and do something new, but that doesn't mean we have to stop doing the old thing, too."




Anyway, if you're curious about where and when to caucus go to King County Democrats. Also, information regarding the primary can be found here: King County Elections
Happy voting season!

should auld aquaintance be forgot

Yet another year has been swept under the rug and the time has come to wax retrospective, or wane if one should so fancy.
The past year paraded many disappointments under my nose. For instance, drinking red wine started giving me sniffles this year. This was a slap in the pants and not in the way I tend to enjoy. Quite the contrary.
What else? Oh, I've become a grump and that means everyone has managed to piss me off enough to make me not want to be friends any more. Luckily, I've managed by drinking heavily and venting to the people who aren't currently pissing me off. I foresee this biting me in the ass in the upcoming year. I blame it on stress-induced episodes and momentary lapses in judgement.
My ass has seen a lot more of my couch. subsequently, my pants are seeing a lot more of my ass. I blame it on stress-induced episodes and momentary lapses in judgement.
my grandma died. that really sucked. and the years of her being sick even more so.
i wasted time with yet another waste of a roommate. this one may have been the worst. she left fecal matter on the toilet seat on a regular basis--YUCK!!
the relief is that it's all over.
i discovered bloody marys, my mouth keeps my day planner from over flowing, i've caught up on a bunch of premium television, my grandma is finally resting, i have a good roommate for once who can drop a deuce without her ass exploding! and most importantly, I fell in love. this was quite a shock, because I was convinced that love was a cliche novelty that didn't go with any of my shoes. Fortunately, love brought shoes with him! my insecurity about relationships seems to be dissolved. and my disdain for man almost completely gone as well. this is a good feeling and Harpo is a good man.
So, what do I want from the upcoming year?
I want to be done with school (for now). and I will be in June (for now)!
I want to travel.
I want to lose weight and some moles.
I want more time for myself.
I want to tell people "no."
I want to be content.



the good news is, I think all of my wants for the year are attainable. I'll let you know how far I get on my list next year. for now, prospero ano y felicidad.

This Week in Print

As all of my adoring fans have probably noticed, I have fallen off the map. While I've been absent, I've still been obsessing over my blog hits. Apparently, I am a hit with the gay Parisiennes on the other side of the pond. who knew?
Anyway, I figured to make up for my absence that I would post what has been occupying my times. (because everyone loves to read college essays, right?) whether you do or don't will determine whether you read or won't. if for nothing else you can know what has been making me crazy lately.

The Dream is the Truth
Zora Neale Hurston’s novel, Their Eyes Were Watching God, is often described as one woman’s journey of self-discovery. While I believe this to be an accurate analysis overall, it is not sophisticated enough. By describing the journey of one’s self, Hurston is able to accomplish an immense depth of collective understanding. In this story of self-discovery there are outlines of gendered norms and societal restraints. Hurston employs vivid metaphors of pollen, entanglement and inner self to personify roles of agency. Through the use of these metaphors she is able to depict one woman’s path to discovering how norms and society play a role in shaping circumstances and how these circumstances shape people. Through Hurston’s words Janie embarks on a journey of self-discovery and through this discovery of Janie’s self there is also an unspoken understanding of women as a whole.
The first paragraph of Hurston’s novel addresses man’s agency in post-Civil War America. Hurston artfully describes the ambitions of men, “ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board” (Hurston 1). This implies that men have their dreams right in front of them. They can see them and they can aspire toward them. The following two sentences describe the difference between men. This sentence refers to those who are privileged, “for some they come in with the tide” (1). The reader has to decide for whom wishes come in with the tide. It is never explicitly stated but Hurston seems to allude to a racial and a class divides. The well-off are white and only need to wait for the tide to come in. Other men are not so lucky: “for others they sail forever on the horizon” (1). The horizon represents a condition of not having. The horizon is always in front of oneself and always just out of reach, the same way that tomorrow never comes. Wishes then become something that is dangled in front of these men. This implies an expectation inherent to masculinity. Until eventually the sun sets on their horizon. This lifetime of fruitless dreaming is what defines the life of men who are in want. The only similarity between these two men lies in the amount of inaction with regard to the perusal of dreams. We do not see men asserting themselves and having the fruits of their labor rewarded. Instead, we see some men waiting and other men watching. Either way, we are not seeing men pursuing and taking. Instead, they are simply acted upon with the changing whims of the tide. This negates a state of willful agency.
The second paragraph sets up the normative dichotomy between men and women. Men sit in wait for their dreams. Women, on the other hand, seem to take more initiative regarding their dreams, without actually executing power. Instead of steadfastly watching one’s dreams, women employ the art of selective remembrance. They figure out the situations that are out of their control. “Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember, and remember everything they don’t want to forget” (1). Their selective memory becomes their reality. This helps them deal with the hardship in life that is unfathomable and equally intolerable. They exercise agency when they can and forget about the instances they cannot. This act of willful amnesia makes an unbearable life bearable. They acknowledge they lack power in some situations and attempt to navigate around that the best they can. This creates a state of willfulness, without necessarily creating a space for agency. Understanding these first paragraphs helps one negotiate the constant strife between the sexes in this novel. Men and women are inextricably bound together. However, women’s acceptance of reality seems to undermine the men who are not satisfied with the dream being the truth.
There are many intersecting themes throughout the novel that flesh out the tension and ambiguity between men and women. Understanding love and marriage is one of these critical themes that helps navigate gender relations in this novel. Janie describes the union of love in the poetic language of birds and bees. She spends her time examining love and marriage while outstretched underneath the shade of a pear tree. She is witness to flies tumbling, interconnected, “marrying and giving in marriage” and, through a haze of pollination, she finds love and kisses Johnnie Taylor (11). We will see the critical themes of bound interconnectedness, pollen, inner self and issues of agency continue throughout the novel.
Pollen-induced haze and lying beneath the pear tree are also reoccurring symbols throughout the novel. They symbolize the haze of romanticism and Janie’s attempt to make the truth the dream. She wants the elements of marriage to be sweet, like when one sits under the pear tree to think. When her first marriage does not bring her this, she begins to stand near the gate and wait for something, like when she got her first kiss from Johnnie Taylor (23). It is at this point that she comes to realize marriage does not automatically bring love. Her dream had died, “so she became a woman” (24). Pollen imagery returns when she is describing the realization of her shattered dream of marriage with Joe. She is described as having “no more blossomy openings dusting pollen over her man.” She was no longer subdued by the haze of love and realized the truth was not the dream. The dream was merely a cloak for the man to wear (68). She forgot about love and molded her dream to fit the truth.
We see the shaping of dreams in relation to truth through Janie’s proximity to self, which is directly reflected by the circumstances of her life. We see this during her first marriage to Logan Killicks. Prior to her marriage, she believes that husbands and wives love each other without question. So she “went on inside to wait for love to begin” (21). The inside alluded to in this passage refers to Janie’s inner self. This is the first time we see her altering the proximity to herself. This is a continuing thread throughout the novel. We see it again in chapter 6 with Joe Starks. She is described as not being “petal-open” with him anymore. She came to this realization immediately after the first time he administered a beating upon her. Following the incident, she felt something fall “off the shelf inside her.” She looked inside herself and realized it was her dream of Joe. This is the point in the novel when she addresses that she has an inside and an outside and they are not meant to mix (68). If she can separate her emotions from herself, then she can make her dream of Joe the truth.
Janie’s final marriage is a turning point in the novel. Through Tea cake we see the culmination of imagery introduced to us so far. For instance, we get to see reference to Janie’s inside and outside again. Janie and Tea Cake had just left Eatonville and been married. Janie had brought along some safety money, which Tea Cake had stolen and lost while gambling. Tea Cake promised that he would win it back. This passage comes after his return. He has been injured in an altercation after winning back Janie’s money. Janie observes him drifting off to sleep. As she looks down upon him while he sleeps, she describes feeling a “soul-crushing love. So her soul crawled out from its hiding place” (122). It is interesting that she does not use the typical imagery of pollinated haze to describe a joyous love embrace or an ecstatic shiver (11). Instead the love she feel is one that crushes with its embrace. Therefore, her soul cannot gaily frolic out from its hiding place. Her soul, so crushed by the weight of her love for Tea Cake, can do nothing but crawl out from its hiding place. This suggests a lack of willfulness. Perhaps it was only the crushing that squeezed it out in the first place.
Through Tea Cake we see the reemergence of tangled bodies of relationships and are introduced to a complicated matter of intimacy. In chapter 15, Janie learns how jealousy feels. She believes that Tea Cake is cheating and confronts him with a blow. We then see them fighting from room to room. All the while, Janie is flailing and Tea Cake is holding her wrists in restraint. They continue, tangled, until their clothes are ripped away and Tea Cake hurls Janie onto the floor. In this passage we see and eroticism of their violent struggle. We also see a quagmire between want and volition. Saidiya Hartman examines this perplex in her work looking at racial justifications for the sexual subjugation slave women. In this violent encounter, the “language of passion expresses the essential conflation of force and feeling” (Hartman 79). However, during slave era there was a defined evil—the slave holder. In the climate of the novel, there is no defined evil outside of the slave system. Tea Cake holds her down until her resistance is melted away. They continue, tangled, doing with their bodies what cannot be expressed with words (Hurston 132). Is this a desired sexual encounter or is this seductive duress? We see the same conversation popping up in nineteenth century theory, through the work of Pamela Haag. It seems the conversation is unfinished through the unspoken norms in Tea Cake and Janie’s relationship.This portion of text illuminates the “evocatively ambiguous relations of power” between Janie and Tea Cake under which an imperfect choice was made (Haag 3). If she had continued to struggle, the reality would have been rape. The melting of resistance gives a space to Janie to refuse the existence of forced coercion. The sex they engage in is full of passion, not force, so Janie can make the dream of passionate love her truth.
The struggle continues. In this case it is man versus animal: Tea Cake versus a dog. This is during the hurricane that drives them to higher ground. After falling into flood water, Janie latches onto a cow to avoid drowning. There is a vicious dog on the cow and she is in danger of being bitten. Tea Cake dives into the water and rushes to her rescue. The dog was strong and Tea Cake was exhausted. Tea Cake was unable to kill the dog with one stab of the knife, but the dog was also unable to free himself from Tea Cake’s grip. They fought in a tangled mess, with the dog’s teeth in Tea Cake’s flesh and Tea Cake’s knife in the dog’s flesh. They are eventually separated when the dog dies, leaving Tea Cake with what will eventually become a mortal wound (Hurston 157).
The struggle of entanglement concludes when Tea Cake is consumed by rabies. He becomes as blood-thirsty as the dog that bit him. Inside of him was a need to kill. Unfortunately, Janie was the only living thing in his sight. She was forced to shoot him and as he crashed toward the floor, Janie lunged to catch him. As the two bodies came together, Tea Cake sinks his teeth into Janie’s flesh and they crash to the ground a tangled mess (175). Interconnectedness, as we see it in this novel, addresses the need of reliance upon another person. It is safety in numbers and it is circumstance binding people and things together, for better or worse.
The conclusion of the book echoes the metaphorical sentiments of the beginning. Janie says that she has been to the horizon and back. She has served to embody the dreams of Tea Cake and she sailed in just as the sun was setting on his horizon. In the end, “she pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net…so much of life in its meshes” (184). . She had so much life in her fish-net’s meshes, so she pulled it in. She was not watching the horizon, dotted with ships at a distance which forever hold the dreams of men. Instead, she remembered Tea Cake because he was everything that she did not want to forget. She beckoned her soul back inside for the last time. Then there was peace and the dream was the truth.
In conclusion, by analyzing pollen, entanglement and inner self we are witness to the distinct differences between men and women in regard to personal agency. Men wish upon ships at a distance; while women accept the facts. This puts men in the position of being blameless victims; while women seem to be more responsible for their hardship. These diverging perspectives cause ambiguity: who is the oppressor and who is the victim? The ambiguous state of blame serves to inform the relationships of tension between men and women throughout the novel. In the end, Janie discovers herself and she represents the journey required of women during that time period. Hurston’s words describe a tale of self-discovery, but what is left unsaid details the difficult road of collective discovery for women in the post-slave era.

I'm hoping this maintains or boosts my GPA as opposed to bring it down. This class has been the most challenging for me in regard to meeting my professor's expectations. Overall, I have good feelings about it.

In other news, I auditioned for a UW production...
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES!!!
I'll find out in the next day or two whether I get a part or not. I actually don't know whether I have the time for the production in my schedule next quarter. So, if I do get a part, I'm hoping I don't get three. During the audition, they asked me to talk about my vagina to see if I would get squeamish. I think what I said made them blush. I suppose this could be good or bad. Either I'm just bold enough or a bit too bold. Anyway, it will work out either way. I mostly just wanted to remember how fun it is to audition for a play again.
Good night and Happy Festivus!

YES

yes, I have not posted in awile.
no, I am not dead.
however, my external hard drive fell asleep and will not wake up.

does anyone want to play Prince charming and awake my memory holder from its deep slumber?

am i a mail order bride?

I never thought so, but apparently the person who sent me this email thinks so:

"Hello Dear.
My introduction, my name is Jeff from republic of Sierra Leone, I want to solicit your attention in receiving funds on my behalf, which my late father left in a merchant bank in Ivory Coast before his death and the Amount is 2.5million dollars. The purpose of my contacting you is because you been a foreigner who I can have trust on to avoid my fathers relatives using the advantage of my age and cheat or betray me of this money, so that is why I decided to disclose it to you.

You live in a Western country with a stable economy where I can invest the money into true you. Please I don’t have any choice of investment; only what I need is your full assistance and support in any good investment in your country.

If you can be of an assistance to me I will be pleased to offer to you 20% of the total fund while the balance will be invested by you.
I am waiting for your response with your full information for me to be to be submitted to the bank.

Sincerely
Jeff kumma"

i wonder if he's handsome. he says he can only trust me because i've been foreign. ha!
i'm tempted to respond just to see what this person actually wants. Probably my bank account info. however, i'm afraid of computer viruses. so, i won't.

what's in a name?

this may be the 1st time i don't use pseudonyms! isn't that weird?
as many may know, I've been kicking around the idea of changing my name. my middle name is marie and i think it is just as useless as most middle names.
my grandfather must have felt the same way. as an adult he changed his middle name to Baca, his mother's maiden name. my plan has been to follow his lead and make my middle name Baca as well. Anyone who has received emails from me knows that I am already using this new middle name.
However, i've begun considering making this name change more drastic. this has been prompted by an overwhelming need to preserve my paternal grandmother's legacy.

OVERWHELMING NEED, form of panic attacks--YAY! the easy thing for me to do would be to go back to my roots as a big bitch and just generally being difficult to get along with. I'm sure some people may think I've already begun this tactic, but i actually haven't. the other thing that has occurred to me is that if my grandparents lived in a spanish-speaking country, my fathers surname would be Garcia Esquivel.
My current plan is to ignore the fact that my mother has a maiden name, because i have no socially defined identity tied to it, and take my father's hypothetical surname.
I think continuing this tradition might actually behoove me. I often struggle with the idea of producing offspring and whether or not they will have my last name. I feel I deserve to pass on my name, because i will be the one to carry the little "f"er! However, I think since dad passes on genetics that he deserves that honor, too. so, who would win? this just bugs me, because it wreaks of domination in what SHOULD be a co-equal relationship. With the Hispanic naming model mini-me can have both last names! this makes me less apprehensive about one day making a copy of my genetics in the form of a person.
this also seems less like name changing as it does taking back what's mine.
my only concern is whether my name will be too much after i pass the bar in a handful of years: ms. shannon baca garcia esquivel, esquire--you know i'm going to use the title, because me using it bucks the boys club mentality of higher education.
that's it. my eyes must now focus on other eyes watching god.

Job Opening- WA (south end)

Position: Technical Support Specialist/Help Desk
Job Type: Administrative
Schedule: Full Time
Location: Tukwila, Washington
Salary: Hourly - $14.00 to $15.00 with benefits
Job Posted: October 9, 2007
Req'd Travel: Yes – In Washington State up to 15%
Relocation Covered: No

To Apply:
Send cover letter including statement (**see below) & resume in Word format to:

Human Resources Administrator
Cedar River Clinics, Executive Office
14220 Interurban Ave S. Suite #140 Seattle, WA 98168
Fax: (206)267-2702
E-mail: HR@CedarRiverClinics.org

Cedar River Clinics, a Feminist run organization committed to making a difference in the lives of women by providing abortion and birth control services, seeks a highly motivated pro-choice technical support specialist to work under the direction the Systems Administrator in the IT Office. This position is located in the Executive Office in Tukwila, WA. This entry level IT position provides user support by troubleshooting software/hardware/printer/scanner problems and will also assist in telephone support, network operations and additional administrative support.

This position will travel to and perform IT support within our clinics during office hours. To be considered for this position, please include a **statement in your cover letter regarding your view on being pro-choice and address specifically why you would like to work for Cedar River Clinics.

Summary of Responsibilities:
• Provide positive encouraging support to end users who have varying
degrees of technical knowledge.
• Provide direction and support to On-Site Systems Coordinators.
• Ability to timely troubleshoot printer, hardware/software, copier/scanner
and telephone support over the telephone or in person.
• Assist in resolving computer issues over the telephone or in person.
• Provide telephone system support as needed.
• Install software as needed.
• Configure workstations as needed.
• Set up new network user accounts, email, network folders and
permissions.
• Dismantle network account for separated users.
• Follow through on IT policy change documentation.
• Order cabling for telephones and/or computers or run and install cable as
directed.
• Other duties as assigned.

Summary of Skills:
• Advanced knowledge in the following programs: DOS based applications,
Windows applications, computer networks.
• Familiarity with network, telephone and voicemail systems.
• Ability to teach and provide direction to other computer users with varying
degrees of knowledge.
• Working knowledge of Network protocols and IP addressing.
• Extreme attention to detail and follow through.
• Ability to effectively prioritize and complete tasks with little or no assistance.
• Ability to run office errands.
• Ability to make judgment decisions within the scope of assigned tasks.
• Demonstrated flexibility in handling multiple tasks and working in different
areas.
• Valid Washington State driver's license, reliable transportation, and
insurance required.
• Maintain internal and external confidentiality.
• Possess a strong commitment to Cedar River Clinics mission and values.

Physical Demands of this position:
• Frequently stands, walks, sits and climbs in performing duties in the office
and in traveling to off site locations.
• Frequently reaches and grasps in using telephones, computers, fax
machines and other office equipment and supplies.
• Frequently lifts and carries up to 15lbs of computers, monitors, printers
and occasionally, up to 40 lbs.
• Frequently to occasionally performs close work while using tools to install
hardware, updating files, reading technical information, and using
computers.
• Occasionally kneels, bends, pushes and pulls.
• Occasionally maneuvers around and/or under desks in sometimes tight
and dirty locations.

Summary of requirements:
• High school diploma or equivalent.
• Knowledge of DOS bases applications, Windows applications, computer
networks.
• Experience installing/troubleshooting/maintaining PC, printers and
scanners required.
• Strong written and verbal communication skills
• Demonstrated ability to be flexible
• Must be Pro Choice.
• Must be able to travel in Washington State up to 15%.


Feminist Women's Health Center is a social change organization that combines direct services (abortion and reproductive health care), with activism (to preserve the right to choose) and community education (to demystify health information and empower health decisions).

VISION: We have a vision of a world where all women freely make their own decisions regarding their bodies, reproduction and sexuality – a world where all women can fulfill their own unique potential and live healthy, whole lives.

MISSION: To achieve reproductive freedom, FWHC provides abortion and birth control so women can decide their own destinies.

To learn more about
• the clinic or the organization, see: www.CedarRiverClinics.org and
www.FWHC.org

the day apprehensive to begin

The morning after can be such a drag...
I am a service learning tutor for the greatest class in the world--Psycho Biology of Women. However, I had a really hard time getting people scheduled for the required meetings and ended up spreading myself too thin.
My first meeting was scheduled for 8AM on Monday morning. My plan was to be up by 6am to make sure I arrived on time or early. However, the crazy screaming lady woke me up around 4am and I was not able to fall back asleep until after 5am. Needless to say, I did not wake up on time. I got out of bed at 7am and got ready as fast as my sleep-deprived bones would allow (which was not very fast at all, especially considering I needed a shower).
I arrived "punctually" at 8:15am. WHOOPS! the meeting went well, but I felt a bit off my game. Anyway, when the meeting was over I needed to hike over to Bartell Drugs. In my early-morning haze, I forgot to bring Aleve. After surrendering my money, I popped three pretty little pills into my mouth and caught the bus to Planned Parenthood.
My appointment was at 10:15am and I got there at 9:45am. In my mind that erased being late to my first appointment of the day. I had to sign some forms and pee in a cup. Why don't places supply funnels? I can't tell you how much I love getting urine on my hands so early in the morning!
Shortly after I peed on myself, a man took me into an exam room to get the ball rolling. I was a little worried that he might be the one doing the procedure. I couldn't imagine they have men prodding uteri at Planned Parenthood. The place that is supposed to be by women for women. i was panicked nonetheless. Also, the music was terrible. I imagined a male clinician tunnelling through my cervix to the soulful styling of Roxette. It was at this moment of being consumed by doubt that I found out they would need to poke my finger and get blood out of it. If I had known about the finger poking, I may not have come in. He tried to tell my that it's not that bad and not even really a needle. None of that helped. I cried like a baby and made him nervous that I would not be able to handle an hour of vaginal penetration. Clearly, he knows me not. I can handle most anything as long as needles and my blood are not involved.
After I stopped sobbing, he told me 20-year veteran, Consuelo, and a 3rd year resident would be performing the procedure. I sighed the biggest sigh of relief.
The two came in and the resident got to work while Consuelo kept me comfortable. They showed me my shiny, new Paraguard IUD. I announced that I would name her Penny. We all agreed that was an appropriate name, because she is tiny and copper. All in all, the procedure went smooth. However, a slight complication arose due to the position of my uterus. Apparently, it tips forward. I never knew that. Conveniently, it is more difficult to get a copper apparatus into a uterus that tips forward. I must say that I was not made too uncomfortable by this added obstacle. There was some cramping, but I was able to breathe through it.
After some struggle she asked Consuelo to take over. I was relieved, because the cramping was beginning to increase and I could tell that I would soon be in pain. Consuelo went in and did some maneuvering. I was about to say ouch, because I felt a surge of discomfort. However, this discomfort was over before the words came to my lips and just then she announced that she'd gotten it. Penny was in!
After that, I had to get back to school and have 3 more meetings. I decided I deserved Pho. Slim Jeans also decided I deserved wine and muscle relaxers.
gawd bless Slim Jeans!

the day that refused to end...

...gave way to the day apprehensive to begin.
I heard through the grapevine, because i never actually look into the weather myself, that yesterday was going to be a wonderful day during a period in seattle when the wonderful days are becoming fewer and further between. So, instead of a planned jog, i proposed a bike ride. this will prove to be my undoing one day. don't get me wrong: i love me bike

see?! she's cute
However, a jog would have consisted of 3 miles. the bike rides consisted of 30+. i was sore and tired, but came home with a bunch of cute patterns, that no one gets to see until AFTER the holidays!! Bits and I tried to get Emms to hit on a couple of hot biker boys to join our peloton, but it was to no avail. boys, even the cutest ones can be oh so lame-o. also, why do biker boys have the nicest butts?
I digress. Anyway, I came home feeling everything mentioned above, but could not fall asleep. LAME! it was so beyond me. midnight came around and i finally fell into slumbers. THEN, 4am rolled around and i hear a woman screaming, "get away from me. leave me alone!" I wasn't completely in my head. so, i just laid there. then when i came to my senses, all i could think was that: "damn! i'm 'that' person." just then i heard her yelling and coming closer. I sat up in my bed and saw her run by, still screaming: "get away from me. leave me alone!" She looked like she was in a lot of trouble, but no one was following her. Shortly after I heard a siren for her and i was off the hook. Needless to say, we 6am reared its ugly head, I was not ready to get up.
I was not ready for a day of meetings of getting an IUD.
the rest of this story is...
...to be continued...

who do I endorse?

I must admit I am a Kucinich dreamer. When I look at him, I really believe he is for the little guy. All joking aside, I am very much a pink-o at heart and he represents a lot of my sentiments for communism, oh that it were a perfect system. When I leave munch kin land and come back down to the real world, I bounce between Clinton, Obama, and Edwards. The one who best brings out my eyes on any given day is the one I am apt to support. Being that I am still up in the air, I decided to take an online survey. Much like using Cosmo to tell me what I want in a lover, I figured a survey that identifies my top candidates must be flawless. I used VA Joe's Candidate Calculator
and this is what it told me.

Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D) - 88.24%
Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel (D) - 88.24% match
Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D) - 70.59%
New York Senator Hillary Clinton (D) - 67.65%
Former North Carolina Senator John Edwards (D) - 67.65%
Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D) - 67.65%
Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd (D) - 61.76%
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (D) - 61.76%

Just look! The number one candidate on my list is one of the representatives from the Lollipop Guild! I think he is the one in the middle, showboating as usual. Now, do I know my treasonous politics or what? God willing, I believe McCarthy would have my ass in a sling.

This is what it said about the other side of the aisle.

Businessman John Cox (R) - 32.35%
Texas Representative Ron Paul (R) - 32.35%
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) - 26.47%
Arizona Senator John McCain (R) - 20.59%
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R) - 14.71%
Kansas Senator Sam Brownback (R) - 11.76%
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (R) - 11.76%
Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo (R) - 11.76%
California Representative Duncan Hunter (R) - 8.82%
Former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson (R) - 5.88%

It's funny, I always fancied myself a McCain girl, but the survey doesn't lie. I guess I finally siphoned the AZ vemon from my veins.

Now I am off to bed, while visions Kucinich dance in my head...

the first step is admitting you have a problem

this one is mine.



i'm currently watching cell phones and bathroom scales. Both things I need, i'm just trying to find them for a cheaper price than what is currently being offered at stores.

the sad thing is that i really believe this.