am i a mail order bride?

I never thought so, but apparently the person who sent me this email thinks so:

"Hello Dear.
My introduction, my name is Jeff from republic of Sierra Leone, I want to solicit your attention in receiving funds on my behalf, which my late father left in a merchant bank in Ivory Coast before his death and the Amount is 2.5million dollars. The purpose of my contacting you is because you been a foreigner who I can have trust on to avoid my fathers relatives using the advantage of my age and cheat or betray me of this money, so that is why I decided to disclose it to you.

You live in a Western country with a stable economy where I can invest the money into true you. Please I don’t have any choice of investment; only what I need is your full assistance and support in any good investment in your country.

If you can be of an assistance to me I will be pleased to offer to you 20% of the total fund while the balance will be invested by you.
I am waiting for your response with your full information for me to be to be submitted to the bank.

Sincerely
Jeff kumma"

i wonder if he's handsome. he says he can only trust me because i've been foreign. ha!
i'm tempted to respond just to see what this person actually wants. Probably my bank account info. however, i'm afraid of computer viruses. so, i won't.

what's in a name?

this may be the 1st time i don't use pseudonyms! isn't that weird?
as many may know, I've been kicking around the idea of changing my name. my middle name is marie and i think it is just as useless as most middle names.
my grandfather must have felt the same way. as an adult he changed his middle name to Baca, his mother's maiden name. my plan has been to follow his lead and make my middle name Baca as well. Anyone who has received emails from me knows that I am already using this new middle name.
However, i've begun considering making this name change more drastic. this has been prompted by an overwhelming need to preserve my paternal grandmother's legacy.

OVERWHELMING NEED, form of panic attacks--YAY! the easy thing for me to do would be to go back to my roots as a big bitch and just generally being difficult to get along with. I'm sure some people may think I've already begun this tactic, but i actually haven't. the other thing that has occurred to me is that if my grandparents lived in a spanish-speaking country, my fathers surname would be Garcia Esquivel.
My current plan is to ignore the fact that my mother has a maiden name, because i have no socially defined identity tied to it, and take my father's hypothetical surname.
I think continuing this tradition might actually behoove me. I often struggle with the idea of producing offspring and whether or not they will have my last name. I feel I deserve to pass on my name, because i will be the one to carry the little "f"er! However, I think since dad passes on genetics that he deserves that honor, too. so, who would win? this just bugs me, because it wreaks of domination in what SHOULD be a co-equal relationship. With the Hispanic naming model mini-me can have both last names! this makes me less apprehensive about one day making a copy of my genetics in the form of a person.
this also seems less like name changing as it does taking back what's mine.
my only concern is whether my name will be too much after i pass the bar in a handful of years: ms. shannon baca garcia esquivel, esquire--you know i'm going to use the title, because me using it bucks the boys club mentality of higher education.
that's it. my eyes must now focus on other eyes watching god.

Job Opening- WA (south end)

Position: Technical Support Specialist/Help Desk
Job Type: Administrative
Schedule: Full Time
Location: Tukwila, Washington
Salary: Hourly - $14.00 to $15.00 with benefits
Job Posted: October 9, 2007
Req'd Travel: Yes – In Washington State up to 15%
Relocation Covered: No

To Apply:
Send cover letter including statement (**see below) & resume in Word format to:

Human Resources Administrator
Cedar River Clinics, Executive Office
14220 Interurban Ave S. Suite #140 Seattle, WA 98168
Fax: (206)267-2702
E-mail: HR@CedarRiverClinics.org

Cedar River Clinics, a Feminist run organization committed to making a difference in the lives of women by providing abortion and birth control services, seeks a highly motivated pro-choice technical support specialist to work under the direction the Systems Administrator in the IT Office. This position is located in the Executive Office in Tukwila, WA. This entry level IT position provides user support by troubleshooting software/hardware/printer/scanner problems and will also assist in telephone support, network operations and additional administrative support.

This position will travel to and perform IT support within our clinics during office hours. To be considered for this position, please include a **statement in your cover letter regarding your view on being pro-choice and address specifically why you would like to work for Cedar River Clinics.

Summary of Responsibilities:
• Provide positive encouraging support to end users who have varying
degrees of technical knowledge.
• Provide direction and support to On-Site Systems Coordinators.
• Ability to timely troubleshoot printer, hardware/software, copier/scanner
and telephone support over the telephone or in person.
• Assist in resolving computer issues over the telephone or in person.
• Provide telephone system support as needed.
• Install software as needed.
• Configure workstations as needed.
• Set up new network user accounts, email, network folders and
permissions.
• Dismantle network account for separated users.
• Follow through on IT policy change documentation.
• Order cabling for telephones and/or computers or run and install cable as
directed.
• Other duties as assigned.

Summary of Skills:
• Advanced knowledge in the following programs: DOS based applications,
Windows applications, computer networks.
• Familiarity with network, telephone and voicemail systems.
• Ability to teach and provide direction to other computer users with varying
degrees of knowledge.
• Working knowledge of Network protocols and IP addressing.
• Extreme attention to detail and follow through.
• Ability to effectively prioritize and complete tasks with little or no assistance.
• Ability to run office errands.
• Ability to make judgment decisions within the scope of assigned tasks.
• Demonstrated flexibility in handling multiple tasks and working in different
areas.
• Valid Washington State driver's license, reliable transportation, and
insurance required.
• Maintain internal and external confidentiality.
• Possess a strong commitment to Cedar River Clinics mission and values.

Physical Demands of this position:
• Frequently stands, walks, sits and climbs in performing duties in the office
and in traveling to off site locations.
• Frequently reaches and grasps in using telephones, computers, fax
machines and other office equipment and supplies.
• Frequently lifts and carries up to 15lbs of computers, monitors, printers
and occasionally, up to 40 lbs.
• Frequently to occasionally performs close work while using tools to install
hardware, updating files, reading technical information, and using
computers.
• Occasionally kneels, bends, pushes and pulls.
• Occasionally maneuvers around and/or under desks in sometimes tight
and dirty locations.

Summary of requirements:
• High school diploma or equivalent.
• Knowledge of DOS bases applications, Windows applications, computer
networks.
• Experience installing/troubleshooting/maintaining PC, printers and
scanners required.
• Strong written and verbal communication skills
• Demonstrated ability to be flexible
• Must be Pro Choice.
• Must be able to travel in Washington State up to 15%.


Feminist Women's Health Center is a social change organization that combines direct services (abortion and reproductive health care), with activism (to preserve the right to choose) and community education (to demystify health information and empower health decisions).

VISION: We have a vision of a world where all women freely make their own decisions regarding their bodies, reproduction and sexuality – a world where all women can fulfill their own unique potential and live healthy, whole lives.

MISSION: To achieve reproductive freedom, FWHC provides abortion and birth control so women can decide their own destinies.

To learn more about
• the clinic or the organization, see: www.CedarRiverClinics.org and
www.FWHC.org

the day apprehensive to begin

The morning after can be such a drag...
I am a service learning tutor for the greatest class in the world--Psycho Biology of Women. However, I had a really hard time getting people scheduled for the required meetings and ended up spreading myself too thin.
My first meeting was scheduled for 8AM on Monday morning. My plan was to be up by 6am to make sure I arrived on time or early. However, the crazy screaming lady woke me up around 4am and I was not able to fall back asleep until after 5am. Needless to say, I did not wake up on time. I got out of bed at 7am and got ready as fast as my sleep-deprived bones would allow (which was not very fast at all, especially considering I needed a shower).
I arrived "punctually" at 8:15am. WHOOPS! the meeting went well, but I felt a bit off my game. Anyway, when the meeting was over I needed to hike over to Bartell Drugs. In my early-morning haze, I forgot to bring Aleve. After surrendering my money, I popped three pretty little pills into my mouth and caught the bus to Planned Parenthood.
My appointment was at 10:15am and I got there at 9:45am. In my mind that erased being late to my first appointment of the day. I had to sign some forms and pee in a cup. Why don't places supply funnels? I can't tell you how much I love getting urine on my hands so early in the morning!
Shortly after I peed on myself, a man took me into an exam room to get the ball rolling. I was a little worried that he might be the one doing the procedure. I couldn't imagine they have men prodding uteri at Planned Parenthood. The place that is supposed to be by women for women. i was panicked nonetheless. Also, the music was terrible. I imagined a male clinician tunnelling through my cervix to the soulful styling of Roxette. It was at this moment of being consumed by doubt that I found out they would need to poke my finger and get blood out of it. If I had known about the finger poking, I may not have come in. He tried to tell my that it's not that bad and not even really a needle. None of that helped. I cried like a baby and made him nervous that I would not be able to handle an hour of vaginal penetration. Clearly, he knows me not. I can handle most anything as long as needles and my blood are not involved.
After I stopped sobbing, he told me 20-year veteran, Consuelo, and a 3rd year resident would be performing the procedure. I sighed the biggest sigh of relief.
The two came in and the resident got to work while Consuelo kept me comfortable. They showed me my shiny, new Paraguard IUD. I announced that I would name her Penny. We all agreed that was an appropriate name, because she is tiny and copper. All in all, the procedure went smooth. However, a slight complication arose due to the position of my uterus. Apparently, it tips forward. I never knew that. Conveniently, it is more difficult to get a copper apparatus into a uterus that tips forward. I must say that I was not made too uncomfortable by this added obstacle. There was some cramping, but I was able to breathe through it.
After some struggle she asked Consuelo to take over. I was relieved, because the cramping was beginning to increase and I could tell that I would soon be in pain. Consuelo went in and did some maneuvering. I was about to say ouch, because I felt a surge of discomfort. However, this discomfort was over before the words came to my lips and just then she announced that she'd gotten it. Penny was in!
After that, I had to get back to school and have 3 more meetings. I decided I deserved Pho. Slim Jeans also decided I deserved wine and muscle relaxers.
gawd bless Slim Jeans!

the day that refused to end...

...gave way to the day apprehensive to begin.
I heard through the grapevine, because i never actually look into the weather myself, that yesterday was going to be a wonderful day during a period in seattle when the wonderful days are becoming fewer and further between. So, instead of a planned jog, i proposed a bike ride. this will prove to be my undoing one day. don't get me wrong: i love me bike

see?! she's cute
However, a jog would have consisted of 3 miles. the bike rides consisted of 30+. i was sore and tired, but came home with a bunch of cute patterns, that no one gets to see until AFTER the holidays!! Bits and I tried to get Emms to hit on a couple of hot biker boys to join our peloton, but it was to no avail. boys, even the cutest ones can be oh so lame-o. also, why do biker boys have the nicest butts?
I digress. Anyway, I came home feeling everything mentioned above, but could not fall asleep. LAME! it was so beyond me. midnight came around and i finally fell into slumbers. THEN, 4am rolled around and i hear a woman screaming, "get away from me. leave me alone!" I wasn't completely in my head. so, i just laid there. then when i came to my senses, all i could think was that: "damn! i'm 'that' person." just then i heard her yelling and coming closer. I sat up in my bed and saw her run by, still screaming: "get away from me. leave me alone!" She looked like she was in a lot of trouble, but no one was following her. Shortly after I heard a siren for her and i was off the hook. Needless to say, we 6am reared its ugly head, I was not ready to get up.
I was not ready for a day of meetings of getting an IUD.
the rest of this story is...
...to be continued...

who do I endorse?

I must admit I am a Kucinich dreamer. When I look at him, I really believe he is for the little guy. All joking aside, I am very much a pink-o at heart and he represents a lot of my sentiments for communism, oh that it were a perfect system. When I leave munch kin land and come back down to the real world, I bounce between Clinton, Obama, and Edwards. The one who best brings out my eyes on any given day is the one I am apt to support. Being that I am still up in the air, I decided to take an online survey. Much like using Cosmo to tell me what I want in a lover, I figured a survey that identifies my top candidates must be flawless. I used VA Joe's Candidate Calculator
and this is what it told me.

Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D) - 88.24%
Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel (D) - 88.24% match
Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D) - 70.59%
New York Senator Hillary Clinton (D) - 67.65%
Former North Carolina Senator John Edwards (D) - 67.65%
Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D) - 67.65%
Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd (D) - 61.76%
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (D) - 61.76%

Just look! The number one candidate on my list is one of the representatives from the Lollipop Guild! I think he is the one in the middle, showboating as usual. Now, do I know my treasonous politics or what? God willing, I believe McCarthy would have my ass in a sling.

This is what it said about the other side of the aisle.

Businessman John Cox (R) - 32.35%
Texas Representative Ron Paul (R) - 32.35%
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) - 26.47%
Arizona Senator John McCain (R) - 20.59%
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R) - 14.71%
Kansas Senator Sam Brownback (R) - 11.76%
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (R) - 11.76%
Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo (R) - 11.76%
California Representative Duncan Hunter (R) - 8.82%
Former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson (R) - 5.88%

It's funny, I always fancied myself a McCain girl, but the survey doesn't lie. I guess I finally siphoned the AZ vemon from my veins.

Now I am off to bed, while visions Kucinich dance in my head...

the first step is admitting you have a problem

this one is mine.



i'm currently watching cell phones and bathroom scales. Both things I need, i'm just trying to find them for a cheaper price than what is currently being offered at stores.

the sad thing is that i really believe this.

oh say can you see?

this is the story of my visit to our fare nation's capitol. a story about when tourists stop acting nice and start acting real...
i should preface that my trip got of to a bumpy start, literally and figuratively. Apparently, AirTran at SeaTac International Airport is run by a bunch of slack-jawed in breeders. here is the set up they had going: stand in line for one of two kiosks. get your boarding pass. then stand in another line to check your baggage. don't most airlines streamline this process? oh, and they only had one person checking luggage! i cannot tell you how many people stood in the bag check line for this one woman to tell them they were in the wrong line and had to go stand in the other then stand in the current one all over again. half of the 6am flight were still trying to check in when the plane was schedule to take off, eh. i took me almost 2 hours to get TO the security line. if i can help it, i may never fly AirTran again. The thing that made it more exacerbating was having wendy and carnie wilson in aerobics gear in line ahead of me making fun of the way everyone who walked by FOR DRESSING FUNNY!!! for being such lame-o's, i called them the fitness and the fatness in my head. it helped me chuckle while being trapped with an earful of their fashion commentary.
once off the ground, i was out like a light. that is the nice thing about airplanes. i hate being on them, but can't stay awake long enough to care. However, there was some righteous turbulence on my connecting flight. these days i'm not a church goer, but there is something very special about in-flight bumps that bring out the hail mary's in me. i don't even know where the rosary came from.











Upon landing, i was greeted by my shaggy-haired lover. i must admit, i could not hold back the water works. i have missed him terribly for over a month now. So when I finally got to lay eyes on him again, i was a bit taken by my emotions.
While I was there, we went to Pennsylvania to visit his folks. We went to the Bloomsburg Fair. Apparently the only fair is the Bloomsburg Fair. I have to admit to not being as enchanted as I would have been if I were 10 or 15 years younger. As as side note, i'm sick and tired of this elephant ear regime. So, it was nice to partake in fry bread. McDreamy's family is very nice. Not to sound trite, but they truly are "down-to-earth" folks. As well his niece, nephew, younger sister and foster siblings are very sweet, cute and fun. i really felt welcomed while i was there. which was a relief. families have the ability to be burdensome when they find you disagreeable.

the final day of my stay was spent walking 500 miles and then walking 500 more. We went to the zoo and looked at many cute animals
After walking the extent our appetites would allow, we had a delicious dinner and even more delicious sangria. it was heavenly. we also got very sore feet. i was dense enough to where flip flops for the first part of our day about town.
after dinner and a shoe upgrade, we made our way to the monuments.
they were monumental, to say the very least. it was a lot of fun and at the end of the night, i had blisters on top of blisters to prove it.

the next day we bid adieu. again, i was taken by emotion. only this time, i could not get myself to recover. i wasn't sobbing or anything, but my eyes just would not stop producing tears. it was mildly embarrassing, but a nice man checking my boarding pass noticed i was upset. he asked me if i was leaving. i said yes. he said not to worry, because i would be back. it was strangely comforting. i like random acts of compassion. anyway, i had a lot of fun, but the trip was too short.

to close i want to say that we packed a lot into our short visit. i got to feel like a tourista and a local. however, of all the activities, this was my favorite and the thing i tend to miss most...

el fin