Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Gullible's Travels: Pt 2

I woke up to the plane screeching to a halt on the runway of the Salt Lake City airport. I was looking at a two-hour lay over and the only thing on my mind was the timely acquisition of coffee. Much to my chagrin, I have become one of those pre-coffee, fire-breathing, people-hating monsters and post-coffee peach. For some reason (you know the reason) being in SLC put me on heightened alert. This made finding that first cup of the day all the more urgent as I felt monster me bubbling up to the surface. I walked around for what seemed like an eternity. In this time, I found countless fountain soda machines, three bars, and candy shop, Cinnabon, and a fast food mega-plex before stumbling a lonely Starbucks. As I took inventory of my surroundings, I noticed a majority of the people around me were obese. It was a sea of large and in charge people in sweat pants. My general feeling is that caffeine is a victimless crime. Certainly, not a deadly sin. Gluttony, however, is. So, wouldn’t one figure that in a religious city shouldn’t the need to over stuff oneself with non-nutritive foods be harder to sate than my need to caffeinate? Another general observation, if someone were to set off on a journey around the United States in search of the city that is Mecca to attractive people, I would strongly urge this person to skip over SLC. It’s all pock marks, halitosis, and front butt syndrome here.
My cup of coffee helped me relax and come to terms with the fact that my first meal of the day would be burger king. No sooner than I had convinced myself to be at peace with my reality, did a quite enormous man sit down next to me with enough food to feed a vastly small village and commence cramming. … Coffee was going to have to be good enough for me.
The flight into Orange County was uneventful. I will say that I have never been on a plane with so many people reading the Bible. I was not sure whether I found this observation to be comforting or terrifying. The landing was more bouncy than I would typically prefer. It felt as if we would bounce right off the jet way. We did not and I am relieved for small miracles.
Upon my arrival, I was faced with a choice between diving head long into my social circles, as a diversion, and only see my family in passing; and taking the time to face the music. One was an emotionally stunted path, the other an emotionally present. I decided that for what it was worth, I made the trip and that I shouldn’t be anything other than ok with my actions from there out. Incidentally, I opted for a happy medium.