Wednesday, December 30, 2009

bad date(s)

there are many reasons why i am not ready to reemerge into the dating world. the ones at the forefront are:
the fact that i am recently out of a long-term relationship with a person with whom i still keep close contact--in fact, he is probably reading this right now. that makes for uncomfortable feelings around meeting a future ex-boyfriend. and...
the fact that i don't know what i want in my very near future. it is hard to anchor yourself to someone if you think you might be about to shuffle your life about.
however, in an effort to pass the time, i have signed up for an online dating site. this is my okcupid profile. you can go to it and tell me how datable i am, a perfect 10--really?!
what i have found so far, dating is hazardous to my health. First off, dating makes me stay up far too late on nights that i know i have to wake up early the next day and run the 1st starbucks. Second, bees. Third, apparently, dates make me catch a cold.
I had a brunch date with a man I met at a party. Indi, was nice enough at the party to warrant the release of my precious contact information. upon contact, he invited me to lunch at the B&O Espresso. I thought wonderful! I have history at this place. It is where I spent a good portion of my time upon landing in Seattle. I imagined being rushed with favorable memories.
I arrived a few minutes early--i shocked even myself be this fete. i ordered an espresso, as I had not yet had my morning cup of coffee and did not want to come across as a fiend, and read my book. As i watched a fly do what it does--fly--i thought quietly to myself, "gross." then, when i saw it land i was petrified and screamed silently in my head, "BEE!" I looked up for a friendly face on the wait staff to come and rescue me from my bee woes. i made eye contact with a familiar face, smiled out of habit, then scanned my brain for the file this face was in. i found it in the "short-term romantic stints with messy endings" file.
"FUCK!" Now I was trapped in my seat because, i'd rather get stung than have to force polite discussion with this guy. it didn't occur to me that a place with history might also have some residual baggage.
i read my book until i felt like i would burst, flinging the table over while frenetically shouting, "BEE! BEE! BEE!" then, i got up and urgently flagged down a waiter in the most low-key, casual manner i could muster.
The waiter gallantly squished him with his wet bar towel and announced, "dead." as he pulled the towel away, much to our chagrin, we realized not in fact dead. try #2 was also a failed attempt. then, he got more frantic. it turns out that he is allergic to bees. finally, the bees met its maker and i could safely return to my seat.
to make matters worse, i was sitting in the least enjoyable spot from an ambient perspective. the sun was looming just over my head. this made reading a dream. however, anyone who looked at me would immediately scrunch their face into a pained squint and quickly look away. it made me feel as though I looked like rocky dennis and my face resembled a lion.
After much ado, Indi showed up and we had a nice brunch. afterward, we wandered around volunteer park (including the green house and the Seattle Asian Art Museum). It was all good and dandy, but I suddenly became very tired.
The next day I awoke with a heinous cold. i blame dating. i don't think anything but stress and sickness will come out of venturing into date land, but am willing to be proven wrong.